by Joyce Good Henderson

Created on: February 26, 2009

What's the secret to a long and healthy life?

Rule # 1: Life does not turn out the way we expect. That is the single most important lesson I have learned in sixteen years as a homecare nurse working primarily with geriatric patients. Great plans are made when we are young. Dreams are launched, goals developed, retirement anticipated, yet reality rarely meets our expectations.

I hear it all the time: "I never thought I'd live this long," "I didn't expect my spouse to die first," "I never thought I'd have cancer," "I didn't plan to be old and alone," and "I was so busy living my life that one moment I was 35, and before I knew it, my 73rd birthday popped up."

Related to Rule #1 is the corollary, "The only constant in life is change." Life does change as we age. How we prepare for and manage that change largely determines what type of person we will be in our senior years.

Coping with change as we age:

Learn something new everyday. Stretch and exercise your brain throughout life. This is a great way to reduce the risk of dementia, as well as helping you to be an interesting person.

2. Exercise your body as well. Exercise releases endorphins, chemicals in the brain which give a sense of well-being. Staying fit helps you stay healthy and younger than your chronological years.

3. Eat right. Your nutrient needs change throughout life. In the mid-30's, you stop laying in new bone cells, so, to prevent osteoporosis, you may need to add a calcium supplement to your daily regimen. The body can have a tough time absorbing some forms of calcium, and taking it with a meal helps. Consult your doctor for how much and what type of calcium you need. Cutting back on calories as we age prevents weight gain and seems to be related to longevity. Cutting back on sugar and fried foods improves cardiac health and cuts the risks of developing diabetes.

4. Be a friend. People who have strong social networks sail through life more gracefully and live longer. Develop and maintain close friendships. People who "do" for other people throughout life also reap the benefits from that lifestyle when they are older and need others' help.

5. Grief is a normal part of aging, and not just because we lose loved ones. We may also grieve the loss of employment when we retire, the loss of friends when we move, and grieving accompanies change when reality doesn't match your expectations. Recognize the stages of grief: anger, denial, bargaining, acceptance and accommodation. Most of the time, recognition helps you to move through the grieving process.

6. Enjoy life as it comes. Develop a daily coping plan for stress. Learn to laugh and remember to love.

Aging is inevitable, but the secret to a long and healthy life is learning how to live it well.

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