Marriage is a commitment meant to last a lifetime. Most people will marry for love, at least the first time around. The second time down the aisle will add a host of other reasons to tie the knot. A second timer is more aware of what it takes to make a marriage last and what it takes to break.
It might seem obvious that the first thing people get married for is love. This is often not the case and the marriage will very possibly turn to shambles. Let's take a look at the worst reasons for people to marry:
1. Pregnancy- People have sexual relationships long before they are ready to commit to a lifelong relationship. This often results in a little surprise, If you have found yourself in this position and are discussing how to move forward, please think it out carefully. If getting married wasn't an option before, it shouldn't be one now. Children most definitely need both parents in their lives. What they don't need is parents that are at each others throats all the time.
2. Getting out of your parents control- This is something that young people do without realizing it. You are desperate to get away from your parents rule so you find someone to "love". You speed the process up and decide to get married. You may think you are in love, but be sure that it isn't the idea of being away from your parents that you are in love with.
3. Deployment- Many of our young men and women have been getting deployed to war zones. The couple is in love and they want to make sure that the person they are leaving behind is taken care of if something happens to them. They jump in rather quickly to seal their love with a signature without realizing this means a lifelong commitment. Do not get married out of fear of what might happen.
4. Threats- One person is adamant that you walk down the aisle. The other one isn't so crazy about the concept. The person that wants to get married threatens to leave the relationship if a stronger commitment isn't made. If they feel that strongly about it, you should let them leave if you have doubts. Do not marry someone because you are afraid you will lose them.
5. Getting too drunk- This happens in Las Vegas a lot, I imagine. People go out to Vegas, start partying the night away and get this crazy idea. They run off to the nearest chapel and before they know it, they are waking up next to their husband/wife. Getting drunk should be done after you have said "I do" not before. Marriage is a serious issue. Unless you went to Vegas for the purpose of getting married, you should leave single.
6. Lust- Lust is a really great thing. You won't get an argument about that from this writer. Lust is a drive that gives us passion. However, lust doesn't mean love. You cannot make a marriage last forever on the feeling of lust. What happens when the lust settles?
7. Money- You have met someone that makes an awesome amount of money. He/she isn't your dream person but you are willing to compromise a little bit. Back up the boat on that one. Getting married for money is worse than marrying for lust. It won't survive the tough storms of a truly loving relationship. The money might be there now but that is no guarantee that it will be there in the future. Think very hard before you jump into marriage head first for money.
8. Social standing- You want to climb the ladder of success and you see your chance. You met someone that has connection all over the world. He/she wants to marry you. You aren't head over heels with them but what the heck. This is your big break. This is the wrong answer. Getting married to climb the social ladder will have you falling right back down it when you get divorced.
9. Pressure from family and friends- Your family and friends have begun to wonder if you will ever get married. They begin to pressure you relentlessly. You begin to think that maybe they are right. You wonder if maybe you are a little too choosy. You make a conscious decision to marry the first person that gives you the offer. The marriage will be over before it starts. Never get married because of pressure. Respectfully let your friends and family know that you are doing just fine without a husband/wife.
10. Biological Clock- You want to have a baby but you may be running close to time that you will no longer be able to. You don't want to go to a sperm bank and you don't want to get pregnant before you get married. Artificial insemination is out of the question because it costs way too much money. You find yourself seeing a husband in every mans face. You hope and pray that this one will ask. When one of them does, you automatically say yes. You quickly become pregnant only to find out that you husband doesn't want children. It's nice to know now, right? Had you taken the proper time to get to know the person you were going to marry, you would have avoided this uncomfortable situation.
Marriage is one of the most serious issues that you will deal with in your life. It should be considered and reconsidered when you are deciding whether or not to get married. You can live a life of regrets for marrying for the wrong reasons as well as you can live a full and happy life for getting married for the right reasons. Here is to a happy and healthy single or married you.