by Iris Flower

Created on: February 26, 2009

Nicknames and the affects on your children

As I sit here thinking about all the people I know, there is not one who does not have or use a nickname for someone in their family. In my opinion, in my experience, it can be both cute and/or detrimental to the child.

On the detrimental side, it is very much to do with the nickname given and how it is used. Some parents may give them names just to be mean, to tease the child about what ever it is the parent disapproves of. These parents may think they are doing the child a favor and that by calling them names it will get them to stop their behavior. The child already feels bad for disappointing mom and dad, but to add salt to the wound they have to bear the humiliation of being called some derogatory name. This leads to that child becoming insecure, angry, bitter, depressed, emotional and many other negative possibilities I fear to look into.

Many parents don't feel that bond or closeness to their child(ren) and therefore they don't give it a second thought. Even if the child were to complain, the parent would only think of another name to call that child in order to have that child stop the whining and complaining. I dare say that at that moment when the child feels neglected by said parent, is when that child somehow changes and becomes whatever nickname is being used. At some point that child will just give in and instead of fighting against the parent, they just accept it and try to somehow make it OK.

On the cute side of nicknames, in a positive outtake, the nickname given can be a push in the right direction. If the parent is really involved in their child's likes and imagination, they can come up with a nickname that inspires that child to be better or to try and emulate their hero, their favorite firefighter, law man, pilot, etc. They will proudly tell others what their nickname is, they will likely grow to learn more, their imagination is pushed forward to ask questions, to have a want for more education on a chosen field. This can lead to that child being positive, secure in self, open to new ideas, fearless, to be more of a people person, to strive to be a person with good morals, a good attitude, healthy living and more.

I can see both sides of the argument, I would hope that the person who is giving the nickname has the best intention at heart and that they consider the consequences and the possible effects of that name. Just be prepared to answer all questions, trust me, there will be questions. That is your chance to plant that seed, to help push your child in the right direction. Some names might be obvious depending on your child's likes or aspirations, while others will take some time, be creative and try to give them an original and one of a kind nickname, after all, your child is an original and one of kind too. The best bet though, is when in doubt, don't.

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