by Nic Edwards

Created on: February 26, 2009

Social skills are vital in most aspects of human life. If you have difficulties socialising, then taking steps to improve your interpersonal skills will benefit you when making friends, meeting members of the opposite sex, advancing in your career and generally becoming happier and more confident in yourself. There are some key actions you need to take if you need some development in this area.

The first step sounds blindingly obvious but I'm going to write it anyway. You need to be around people more. Join groups or clubs with interests that share your own. Sign up for a course that you're interested in. Most importantly, if you're currently unemployed or work in a job that takes you away from people, try to get a job that will give you the opportunity to practice your social skills. My first job was technical support in a call centre - I spent all day building a rapport with customers, talked to colleagues during breaks and went to the pub with them after work. Even on the days I didn't feel like being around people (which I'm sure you have experienced) I still had to go in and talk all day - and I ended the day feeling great. Most people meet their friends (and some meet their partners) through work. My first job turned me from being a fairly quiet person into a much more forward one.

OK, so you're around people. Now what do you do? Get into the social circle - literally. You're on a break in work, a few people are standing around talking. Go over there. I don't even bother with a pretense when I want to talk to a group - I just walk in to the group and say "hey, what's happenin'." Reading over that last line, it sounds incredibly corny, but it works - the people in the group say "hey" back and continue the conversation. Then you just jump in every so often. It doesn't have to be anything witty or clever, just keep it light and relax. If you're just starting a job or course with other new starts, everyone is in the same boat. If you've been there a while, people will be glad you've decided to be more sociable. Make a concerted effort to get chatting in these groups and it will begin to come naturally - practice makes perfect.

Now comes the hard bit - actually talking about stuff. If you find that you freeze up a bit, try not to overthink. Give people the opportunity to talk about themselves and they'll respond. Standard general openers include: "Get up to anything at the weekend?" " How was your holiday?" "How's your new car?" Notice these are very open questions

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