by Heather Norman

Created on: February 26, 2009

Some people can become friends with their exes. Others, like me, usually cannot have a relationship with old companions.

After an abusive relationship, no one should ever remain friends, in my personal opinion. The old other half has caused so much mental, and possibly physical pain as well. It would only cause more pain and suffering if the two people continued to be friends. As well as the families involved. The families may say they will not want anything to do with you until you fix your life or all together disown you. This happened with my mother. She was abused by my father for years and when he was arrested, she said she was going to keep in contact and help him through his time and hopefully have a father for her two children and my grandmother disowned her.

In turn, my father was such a bad person that his family disowned him and when I got back in touch with them, they refused to have anything to do with me or my brother. They said we would be just like him. Being friends with your ex sometimes can cause pain for your children involved. Thats when it may be a good idea not to be friends.

Also, for your own mental health, I believe you cannot be friends with an ex that has cheated on you. You can fall back into a relationship, depending on how you feel about the person, and you can cause your heart some trouble. You can lose friends due to going back and forth. I have known several people who have had good friends because they kept on trying to make it work or would try to be friends and fall back in. You can cause yourself so much pain just trying to be friends with people who you have had a relationship with and they have done you wrong.

And I think the biggest reason is because you cannot make your own life a living hell. We all love who we love, and trust me, I have figured that out, but you should be able to figure out that this is not the best person for you. If you keep going back, and in your mind you know it will never work, STOP TRYING. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing, or asking the same question over and over in hopes for a different result. Lets face it. If it did not work out once, It may not ever work out. Sure you can try again, but more than likely you already know how it is going to end...

The bottom line is most people cannot be friends with the people they have dated. Everyone has a different reason, and they are all good reasons I'm sure. But when a person has caused you any pain, I don't think it is possible to be friends with that person at all.

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