by Gauri Trivedi

Created on: February 25, 2009   Last Updated: February 26, 2009

Friends are your support system. They walk side by side with family and sometimes take over when there is none.

So can things go wrong in genuine friendships too? Can something as close to your heart die? Do real friendships break?

Sadly, they do.

1. Distance

Out of sight, out of mind. Distance is a killer. It takes a lot of commitment for any long distance relationship to survive. The same goes for friends. When either of you move away, many factors which were non-existent before, come into the picture. New place, different hours, new friends and re-framed priorities. All these make keeping in touch a little more complex than it usually is. At some point of time things fizzle out and one just fits completely into the new life, minus the old friends.

2. Falling for the same guy/girl

Sounds cliche, but this does happen in real life. Movies have been made about it, songs have been written about it and so this reason cannot be discarded off lightly. When two friends get romantically inclined towards the same person, it is usually the friendship that suffers.

3. Extreme differences

"Much of the vitality in a friendship lies in the honoring of differences, not simply in the enjoyment of similarities." Author unknown.

All goes well in a friendship, till the day you agree to each other's view points. The test of friendship is however, when you are at extreme ends about something. Mutual respect of opinion is easier said than done. Many friendships don't stand this test of belief. Be it political, religious or cultural, sometimes, it is impossible to overlook certain differences and that's where friendship ends.

4. Growing up

Even today, I feel the best friends I ever had were the ones I went to school with. Unfortunately, they are no more my friends. Childhood friendships are the closest one can come to honest relationships in life. The bonds are so unselfish, the interactions so innocent. Yet, not all childhood friends remain so, once they grow up. What you are at 10 years of age and what you become at age 20 maybe a complete contrast. Growing up implies a lot of transformation. People change and so does their equation with each other.

5. Dishonesty

Honesty forms the basis of every truthful relationship, why only friendship. If you can't trust your friend, how good can that friendship be? Instances of cheating, dishonesty, lying, backstabbing, often lead to breaking up of friendships.

6. Miscommunication

You really need to convey what you want to, the right way. You have to be clear in your dealings with your friends. Friendship is too precious, it shouldn't be allowed to fall a prey to miscommunication which can lead to misunderstandings. To me, lack of communication also amounts to miscommunication, because it conveys to the other person, your disinterest in communicating. You may not intend to do so, but cutting off a channel of communication damages a friendship beyond repair. Things not said then, may never be said again. It is very difficult to break the ice once the wall of silence descends between friends.

7. Your Ego

Never become too big for your true friends. They are the ones who knew you before you became anything at all. A clash of egos can ruin even the strongest of friendships. So before you set mindlessly in pursuit of proving a point or acting up with a friend, think of what you are losing out on. It is foolish to satisfy one's ego at the cost of friendship.

In the end, it really does matter how a friendship breaks. It speaks a lot about you and your friends.

In life, sometimes deliberately or unknowingly, you end up losing a friend. If the lost friendship matters a lot to you think back and reflect on what went wrong, you may find your answers.

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