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How to make friends

by Cindy Wagner

Created on: February 25, 2009   Last Updated: February 26, 2009

How to Make Friends

As each school year begins, children may wonder what the school year will bring as far as friends, teachers, grades and such. Many feel anxious over classroom assignments or worry about establishing friendships; they look towards the new school year with a mixture of nervousness and excitement. If you feel yourself getting panicky over your prospects for making friends, getting along with your teachers and maintaining good grades some of these tips might prove helpful to you.

Be a Good Listener

Everyone likes to feel unique and appreciated. Take the time to let other people finish their sentences and really listen to what they are saying. Do not feel you have to agree with everything they say, but let them know you value and respect their opinion. Make eye contact and smile, smiling makes other people feel you are approachable and more friendly.

Develop Your Talents

Find activities that make you feel passionate, inspired and motivated. Each and every one of us has talents, find them now, so you can allow them to develop and grow.

Educate Yourself

Enjoy learning! You really can feel the results of a good education. If your teachers see that you want to learn, they will be nicer to you since they can see you actually want to do well in their classes. Allow yourself to learn, nourish your brain, and become interested in feeding your mind. You will begin to feel the power of being more knowledgeable and informed. You will be stronger from within and your self-confidence will grow by leaps and bounds, others will treat you with more respect and your grades will improve.

Do Not be Silent or Undemonstrative

You must obey classroom rules, but do not allow yourself to be too quiet at school. If you are shy, make a point of smiling and either starting a conversation or joining in whenever the situation allows. If you are too quiet, others will think you prefer your own company to theirs, and that sets you up to be isolated and forgotten. Force yourself to act the part of the person you want to be.

Develop Good Conversation Skills

Conversation is a back and forth exchange of communication, allowing people to relate to each another in some way or another. A successful conversation is balanced, with mutually interesting connections made between the participants. Start by finding a relatable topic, after you have talked for a minute or two, make sure to pause and give the other person a chance to speak. If you come upon a conversation that others are having, take a few moments before you join in, do not interrupt and ask a question completely off of the subject they are covering.

Disengage Yourself from Your MP3 Player or Phone

Music can be an escape, but remember you have to be present to hear what others are saying. Choose your time for escape and make sure you are not absent when you should be present. If you are constantly checking your voicemail, email, or text messages you may seem unapproachable or busy. Make sure you take a break, look around and get involved in the here and now of "live" person-to-person social networking.

Establish Common Ground

Join a club, activity or volunteer group. Shared experiences are the common ground for many relationships; it is just a fact of life. Do not feel you are a loner or just not good at making friends? Know that anyone can develop friendships if they are willing to put in the time. Friendships require work; do not expect everyone to swarm around you without effort, establish a bond and help it grow. You can develop a circle of friends if you are willing to put forth the effort to practice mutual give-and-take and consideration.

Learn more about this author, Cindy Wagner.
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