by Heather Norman

Created on: February 24, 2009   Last Updated: February 25, 2009

So many people have no idea when to end the relationship; even I have trouble figuring it out. There are, however, things that a relationship needs to survive, and as soon as one of those things are gone, it gets hard.

I was with a man for a year and a half. Looking back at it now, I worshiped the ground he walked on, did everything he asked and never ever thought twice about it. He was five years older than me. We met at work, which was good, but we did not take the time to get to know each other. One thing you need in a relationship is a friendship basis. If you cannot tell your other half everything that happened to you today, that your best friend is of the opposite sex or any of your little deep secrets, it will never work. If once upon a time you had these things, and they have gone far away, after working to get them back, if you cannot bring back your friendship, you should probably end it there. You would save yourself a lot of pain.

In the beginning, our intimate life was amazing. We enjoyed each other's companionship and indulging in one another. But as time drew along, the spark fled from his heart, or maybe another came in. He never took the time to figure out what I wanted, what would make me happy, and refused to bend what he wanted. I was left scared to say a word and felt an obligation to make him happy. He blamed his non-interest in me on growing comfortable and wanting to cuddle instead of have sex. Once you stop having sex, barring medical reasons, there is a problem if you have had sex before. Try to figure it out and work on it; if you cannot restore the intimacy, you should probably cut your ties.

Well, it turns out that he was going elsewhere for what he could have gotten every night for a year and a half without the guilt or shame, assuming he felt any, that he had. He did it well, having his friend cover for him when he went out. I trusted him with all my heart due to the fact that he had been cheated on and knew how it felt, or so he told me. But no matter what, once you lose trust, you have lost the relationship, and you will never be able to get it back to what it once was.

There is always hope, and anyone will tell you that, but a relationship is something magical. If there is not one with the other, most of the time things just are not going to work out, so end the relationship and save yourself a few days, weeks, or even some years.

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