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can place it in an account, but these can be easily traced and may be manipulated by a crafty abuser.

Documents-In order to begin a new life apart from your abuser, you will need certain documentation such as your birth certificate and social security card. If you have children, keep a copy of their immunization records as well, to enable them to enroll in a new school if necessary. Keep this paperwork, both originals and copies, in a place that you can access without your partner knowing about it. They may not give you what you need when the situation occurs and they may not even allow you to make copies, so make them beforehand and hide them safely away.

Safe Place-Have a plan for where you will go when you leave the home and the abuser. They may know your friends and relatives, so this may not be the best place to go. Maybe there is a friend of a friend that they will not know about, or someone that your parents know who will be willing to make their home available to you if the need should arise. You may need to go to a hotel initially, which is one of the reasons that a stash of money is so important. Pay in cash so that it is not easy for your partner to track you down.

Necessities-Have a bag packed and hidden away somewhere with the essentials for that first few days. You will need a couple changes of clothes, personal hygiene items, and maybe a few non-perishable snack items in case you need to be on the road for a while. If you have children, be sure and include some activities, such as coloring books and crayons or small toys for them. This will be a tense time and they will need some things to occupy their time and their thoughts.

We never plan on being abused, but planning for the "what ifs" will help to ensure that you have options and solutions available for you. You won't have to feel trapped and helpless. If you are being abused, get out and get help. You do not deserve to be hurt. If you feel the grip of control tightening, don't wait for the first punch or slap, spare yourself that and leave. A controlling person almost always succumbs to their anger at some point. With a plan, you are more likely to depart before that day.

Learn more about this author, Victoria Tiegert.
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