by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: February 24, 2009   Last Updated: February 26, 2009

I don't know anybody who has fallen in love and married with the intent of being beaten by their spouse, but I do know several people that have encountered this very thing after the nuptials are over. This being the case, the time to make a plan for your safety and survival is now, not when you are in the midst of the violence. If it happens, you will probably be both stunned and afraid, neither of which promotes effective decision-making skills.

There are several reasons that a person may take the time out to make a plan in case of an occurrence of domestic violence. Maybe they have encountered the temper of their partner and fear that it could happen, even if it never has before. Or, maybe it has already started and they have made the decision that the last time was truly the last time. There are other people who have simply seen too much of it to consider themselves, or anyone else, immune to the possibility. Growing up around domestic violence will imprint a lasting memory that will follow the child into adulthood and may instill a fear of a repeat performance in their own lives. Whatever the reason, a plan is always good to have, even though you will hope never to have to use it.

Even those with no foretelling of an abusive situation occurring would do well to make a plan of how they would deal with it if it were to happen. Things often happen in life that are beyond our wildest imaginings. We never see ourselves as "that person", you know, the one who is hurt and humiliated, broken and beaten in both spirit and body. Unfortunately, statistics show that the number of people who find themselves in this very circumstance is growing all the time. A plan isn't prevention against it happening, but it is prevention against it happening more than once.

There are several factors that your plan should cover. Money, documents, a safe place, and necessities are all things that you must take into account and prepare to have in place prior to an abusive situation that leaves you weakened and in a poor state of mind.

Money-Many abusers begin by exerting control over the person that they intend to victimize. Part of this control often is to be in charge of all the household funds. Without money, your departure at the time of the abuse will be more challenging, though not impossible. Put aside some money in a separate place that he/she doesn't know about. It may be good to leave it with a trusted friend or relative, so that it is not found in the home that you share. You

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