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Listening skills are crucial to successful relationships, both in life generally and in the workplace. If I was forced to choose a single skill set on which to focus, in order to attain success at work, this would be it.

I will give you two good reasons why, and then I will give you five effective, easy-to-grasp techniques you can use to boost your listening skills.

Why is listening important in the workplace? Firstly, good listening skills mean that you reduce the chances of miscommunication, which can be costly in terms of money and relationships. In today's complex business environment, clarity is paramount.

Secondly, by being a good listener you build rapport with the other person, and this is effective in two ways; he or she will feel valued and will thus be a lot easier to work with. Also by putting yourself in his or her place you will learn to appreciate the other's point of view, something that is vital if you want to arrive at an optimum solution to a workplace problem.

To enhance your listening skills, first practice what is generally called active listening. You do this by attending carefully to what the other person is saying, then repeating it back to him or her - not in parrot fashion but in your own words (paraphrasing.) This will eliminate errors, help you to be clear about what the speaker is saying, and show the other person that you are taking in what he or she is trying to convey. It doesn't mean that you are agreeing with the other person, but it does mean that you are working to establish a common understanding.

Don't interrupt. Let the other person have his or her say. One bad habit to eliminate is the tendency to focus on your upcoming response rather than on what the other person is saying, then jump in with that response, even while he or she is still talking. Don't do it. Stay in real time, fully attend to the speaker and wait for a natural pause in the flow of words before responding. (If you really do need to interrupt - if the speaker is rambling or has launched into a lengthy monologue or rant - do so as tactfully as you can.)

Don't rush to fill a silence. Many of us feel uncomfortable when a silence occurs, and there is an urge to blurt out with something - anything - that will cover it up. However, the truth is that some of us speak more slowly than others and have a style that is naturally more thoughtful. Give the other speaker some breathing space, and time enough to formulate a measured, unhurried response.

Which brings me to pacing. Match the other person's body language, without mimicking or slavishly copying every gesture and tic. Note the way he or she is standing or sitting, and the speed at which he or she is speaking, then allow your own posture and voice to follow the other's lead. By subtly mirroring the other person, you will be able to gain rapport and may also put yourself in a position to (again subtly) start leading the other, which will help you if you need to be persuasive later on.

Finally, ask questions. Not just any questions, though. Ask open questions, using "what", "how", "who", "why", "which", "where", "in what way". Open questions encourage the other person to provide information, expand on what he or she has said, and in turn supply you with the means to further the dialogue. On the other hand, closed or yes/no questions are a conversational dead end. You may not be able to avoid them altogether, but when you get your "yes" or "no" from the other, do your best to follow it up with an open question.

These techniques are deceptively simple in theory, more difficult in practice; however, the more you apply them, the better at them you will get. And the rewards for improving your listening skills are incalculable.

Learn more about this author, Alex Cull.
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