by Victoria Rose Perkins

Created on: February 24, 2009   Last Updated: February 26, 2009

A man was sitting at his kitchen table. His wife walked over to him and hit him on the head with a frying pan. He asked, "what did you do that for?" She replied, "I found a note in your pants pocket with the name Linda on it." He answered, "Oh that? That's just the name of a horse I was going to bet on." The next morning the wife hits him on the head again. He jumps up and says "why did you hit me again?" She looked at him and said, "your horse called."

While this may be a funny joke to those not married, it is no laughing matter to those who are married to a cheating spouse. Extramarital affairs cause deep emotional wounds to the heart and can temporarily or permanently damage the core of who we are. The reason being, you trustingly handed your heart over to the one you loved and married, and now, instead of tenderly caring for it, it feels like it has been thrown to the ground and stomped on...without any concern for your agony.

Sadly, marriages today are under a great deal of strain, but the difficult challenges are never an excuse to break the marriage vows. The economy, job loses and chronic health problems can weigh in making the cheater think "the grass may be greener in someone else's yard." But, is it?

Let me relate to you a true story of a couple who had been happily married. The husband started an affair through someone he met on the internet. Starting out as "friends" the conversations soon turned to more intimate details of each other's lives until an emotional bond developed. Next, they could not wait to see each other. They secretly managed to meet alright. Imagine his surprise and horror when he meets face-to-face this new wonderful darling, and she weighs in at over 350 pounds!

There are 3 basic ways people cheat. Having an emotional affair (which 9 out of 10 times will progress to physical), the one-night stands without the emotional ties and the pure physical relationship kept alive behind the back of the innocent partner, known as "the other woman". She then progresses to becoming his mistress with possible wishes to replace you by having him divorce you, so she can become his wife.

All these affairs are extremely harmful to the one who is being cheated on. And, when there are children involved, its devastating for all concerned.

What if you suspect your partner is guilty of cheating. To maintain your own peace of mind and sense of dignity, you need to get to the bottom of this problem. You deserve to know the truth. But, you may ask, how can

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