by Colby Weaver

Created on: February 24, 2009   Last Updated: February 25, 2009

Mr. Nice Guy. A term that has, somehow, become more of an insult than a compliment. Nice guys are too clingy, nice guys are too needy. Nice guys have no life, and nice guys are too sensitive.

Well, ladies, as a guy that has lost more than a few relationships for being "too nice", I am here to try and clear the air, and hopefully kill the negative connotations that comes with being Mr. Nice Guy.

I can remember my very first real, long term relationship. It was in high school, and I was just head over heels in love with this girl. So much so, in fact, that I would do anything she asked. I bought her anything she wanted. I let her practice hair styling on me. I even built a playhouse for her sisters.

She dumped me because I didn't want to cut the grass for her parents the morning before we were going out of town. I didn't want to drive across country sweaty and covered in dirt and grass. I was devastated. I had no idea what I had done wrong.

She came back to me not long after that, but even then, it was only temporary. Eventually, she told me that she left me because I was too nice. She said that if I were that nice, I must be up to something, because there is no such thing as a nice guy.

Several relationships, and several more breakups for being "too nice" later, I thought I had it figured out. I thought that by being too nice I was becoming a pushover. Friends would tell me that I needed to get "WELCOME" tattooed on my back, because I was everyone's door mat. Female friends would tell me to stop trying so hard, because it really made women think I was doing something behind their backs.

The next relationship, I tried so hard to be indifferent. I never went out of my way to be "too" nice. And I suffered for it. I actually discovered that I was not happy, unless I was making someone else happy. I genuinely would get pleasure from being nice to a woman. She dumped me as well. Said I was surely cheating on her, because there was no other reason to be so nice to her.

I spent a lot of time alone after that. I decided I really needed to figure out what was wrong with being such a nice guy, and how I could balance being a nice guy, without being "too" nice of a guy.

Here are the things I decided would help:

MEN: Learn how to balance. If a man can balance his relationship with other interests, and also can learn how to balance being nice as well as saying no, he will be good at being a nice guy, that is not TOO nice.

Be confident in yourself. A nice guy is always going to win

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