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With today's divorce rates hovering somewhere around one out of two, it appears that most of us have been or know someone who has been divorced. There are certainly innumerable reasons why a couple might choose to breakup. However, it seems that cheating is at least one of the leading reasons that relationships fail. The debate over whether cheating is a learned or inherited behavior has been chewed over for decades. In this case, it appears that neither "nature" nor "nurture" has an answer for us. Whatever the reason(s), the bottom line is that people DO tend to cheat in relationships. But, while many of us believe the definition of "cheating" concerns physical actions, there are great deals of individuals who believe that there is such a thing as "emotional cheating."

So, what exactly is "emotional cheating"? When two people are in a monogamous relationship, there is generally an understanding that they have individual reasons to be together. As a result of this choice to be together, they will reserve certain privileges for one another to provide a sense of distinction. In other words, when we are involved in a relationship with a partner, we distinguish our partner from all of the other potential partners by allowing that person into our lives. We may display this distinction either through legal measures (i.e. marriage), or through financial support. But, many people in relationships also reserve certain emotional issues for their partners.

If a person who is in a relationship divulges all of his or her secrets to his/her partner, then that person begins to feel as though they are trusted and respected enough to be allowed to view an intimate and often vulnerable side of his/her partner. Sharing these aspects of ourselves with others are at the heart of an intimate relationship. Therefore, when one partner begins to divulge these "secrets" to an individual outside his or her relationship, problems are bound to arise.

Whereas "cheating" is often defined as engaging in an intimate physical act with an individual outside of your current relationship, "emotional cheating" can then be described as engaging in intimate and emotional acts with an individual outside of your present relationship. That being said, this does not mean that you are completely barred from expressing yourself to another person outside of your relationship. However, the line between "friendship" and "emotional cheating" can become blurred. For example, if you are a young man in a relationship with a young woman, but you also share a deep bond with a close female friend, tread lightly! Always running to your best friend to share intimate details about your daily thoughts and actions can leave your partner feeling as though she plays no role in your life. Your "friend" ultimately gets to revel in the intimate bond with you while your "girlfriend" waits in the wings, undoubtedly resentful if she shares herself with you and is not receiving the same in return.

Emotional cheating can hurt many people. Becoming inappropriately intimate with someone you just consider a friend, acquaintence, or peer can leave your partner feeling unsatisfied with his or her role as your partner. In addition, sharing certain intimate details with a "friend" could potentially lead the other person on and can be perceived as a decietful attempt to gain his or her interest.

Learn more about this author, Krystle Hernandez.
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