by Terry Marsh

Created on: February 23, 2009

One of the biggest problems in couples communications is that men hear, but do not listen to women. And it's not that guys don't want to listen, it's just that in most cases, women are just not saying the things that guys want to hear. Even when it isn't an issue of being right or wrong, guys will depend too much on their own experiences or perceptions in efforts to preserve their male egos. Why should men listen to women? Because, quite frankly, guys don't always have all the answers.

It can be demeaning to a guy's sense of manly pride to admit that he is wrong, especially when he has to admit it to a woman. There are simply some things that a guy refuses to admit that a woman can be right about, or worse yet, know more about than he does. Politics, sports, world events, home and auto repair, action movies, video games, and map reading are just "guy things". When women infiltrate those territories, or heavens forbid, become knowledgeable about them, then it threatens the last few bastions of perceived male superiority.

But, women have gained knowledge and experience in areas once dominated by men. Women make political decisions based on gathering facts and intuitive reasoning, instead of following the "good ol' boys". Women watch, read about, and participate in sporting events just like guys do. Women own homes and automobiles, and will become informed about maintaining them. And women have known for years that they were better at directions than men, just ask any wife.

There are other reasons why men should listen to women. Women are much more expressive about their emotional needs in a relationship than men. And in order to keep them happy, men should pay close attention to what they are saying. Sometimes, women communicate those needs in a manner that preserve a guy's ego. At other times, they become more direct. But the bottom line is that if a guy is hearing, but not listening to what a woman is attempting to communicate, then he may very well be on the verge of losing that woman. At that point, it becomes no one's fault except his own.

Gone are the days when women retire to the parlor, while men discuss the important events of the day. Gone also, are the days when women have little or no voice in matters affecting their lives. Women have earned the right to voice their thoughts and opinions about everything from relationship expectations, to who will win the Super Bowl, and have become extremely vocal in doing just that.

It's important that men spend more time listening to women. In the long run, it could save them a lot of emotional aggravation, or loss of ego. And, they may find that it may lead to a much more fulfilling relationship, and possibly learn a better way to repair something around the house.

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