by candydro

Created on: February 23, 2009

Friends come in all shapes and sizes, they also come in a variety of qualities. You have friends that will stick by you no matter what and help you when you need it. Then you have the friends that while you are talking to them about something going on in your life and they blankly start talking about something else while you're in the middle of a sentence. Not that people don't have slip ups but when everything is about that person no matter what you are dealing with they are toxic.

Here are a few real life examples that should help you see the difference. I will be using (t) for toxic friend and (g) for good friend.

When you just break up with a significant other-

(g) will help you get through it in whatever manner works the best for you.

(t) will help your ex get over you by 'being there for them'.

When you get a new job-

(g) will take you out to celebrate.

(t) tries to one up you, or they ask you why you were looking for a new job because now you won't be able to go to lunch with them anymore.

When you get engaged-

(g) helps you plan your wedding.

(t) hits on your fiance then gets totally trashed at the wedding and gives your grandma a lap dance.

When your dog dies-

(g) gets you something to remember the doggy with.

(t) forgets and asks if you're breeding the dog cause they want one just like it.

When you get a divorce-

(g) takes you in until you can go home again or you find another place to go.

(t) doesn't answer your calls because they know you're upset and they don't want to deal with you.

Some of these things have happened to me. To be fair not the one with the lap dance but the girl in question wasn't a big help and I haven't talked to her since. She was completely drunk the entire day of my wedding and it was not really fun wondering if she was going to be able to stand up the entire fifteen minutes through the vows.

Just a hint, there are lines that everyone draws even if you don't know where they are but when someone crosses them it's better to limit your contact or cut it off all together because dealing with toxic friends is all one sided and it's all you. You give and give, you get nothing back. Or they give you just enough so you feel like you have a friend and then they do the same stuff all over again. It's not healthy to have these people close to you because they literally drain you of energy and it makes you not really trust people the way you did before they were your friend.

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