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Created on: February 22, 2009
St Peter sat at his desk, mac book open, coffee steaming and, once again, began the tiresome process of infinity. The list of names from Human Resources looked, yet again, to be growing. He toyed with a pencil for a bit, thinking that he had drawn a short straw when the jobs of heaven had been allotted, before finally buzzing the secretary to send in the first applicant.
"Name" barked the celestial figure.
"John Wright" whispered the accountant.
"It says here you deny the existence and/or relevance of a celestial power. You do realise that, as we kept telling you, this is punishable by never ending torture of the soul?"
"Well, that was what they told us in primary school." The accountant looked up and, seeing the halo and blinding white of the Saint, he blinked feverishly.
"You look confused and a little lost. I'm sorry for the fierceness of the opening, please sit down. I'm St. Peter, you may have heard of me" The Saint winked at this, then offered the accountant a hobnob. "Well, in case my P.A hasn't explained, you are currently in limbo while we process your file. You've been offered this interview by the powers-that-be for us to gain a little incite into how you view our enterprise".
Emboldened by the biscuit, the accountant asked "Am I dead then?".
The Saint chortled "I'm afraid so. But let's not dwell on the negatives. I can see from this"- by this he meant his laptop's screen- "that you are not a bad person. But you already know this, i know you're thinking if i was bad i wouldn't be here"- again the chortle -"so let's get down to it."
By down to it, the Saint meant the listing of every good and bad deed our accountant had commited in his all too short life. The Saint would punctuate this tallying with witticisms and comments that he clearly thought to be most amusing. The timid accountant merely watched on; adding comment in defense of bad deeds was pointless, the omniscience of this report writer was so complete.
"You're currently in a very favourable position Mr. Wright, your tally shows a truly noble spirit. Such a shame you couldn't make that trip to church once a week. This prompts the question, and the ultimatum of this little session, why didn't you believe Mr. Wright?"
The accountant took another hobnob, chewing it pensively he took his time in replying. When he did speak it was with clarity and calmness and he seemed to transcend his meek exterior.
He began, "Mr Peter, the question of belief is one i have often asked myself many a time. As you will guess
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