by Five Sisters

Created on: February 22, 2009

The significance of space in a relationship is a very important idea to understand. No matter the relationship, no matter who is involved, everyone needs time together and everyone needs time apart. It's easily understood that people need to be together in relationships, how else could the relationship ever come to fruition, grow and survive? What's harder for some people to understand is the significance behind the need for personal space. Many insecure people constantly ask the other, "Why do you need to go out and do [such and such] without me when you've got me? Am I not enough?" Well quite honestly, their need for personal space is not about you, it's about them; don't take it so personally and don't hold them back.

Everyone is an individual first and foremost and entering into any kind of relationship, be it with friends/lovers/or a parent and child sort of combination, does not erase that simple fact. You are already a significant someone before you ever become closely involved with anyone else and you will continue to be that person long after the relationship is tested, tried and true or doused out and simply a part of your history. Because of this, it is imperative that you remember your own personal goals and dreams and continue to be your best self for yourself as well as for the other person. You need to remember to continue to be you. To accomplish this it takes time and it takes space.

If one is constantly forced to focus solely on the dynamics of the relationship and on who they must be in order for that relationship to continue, they will in time loose their own identity; this cannot be helped. When a person has to give up all off him/herself in order to make a relationship survive, that person will become angry when the honeymoon phase is over and they finally figure out what has happened. In turn, they will blame their loss on the other person involved in the relationship; the very one they chose to give it all up to in the first place. A fun conundrum don't you think?

The easy answer to this is to be yourself first and to enjoy a happy and fulfilling life which you can share with someone else. Create the space and time you need to follow your own ambitions and purpose. It is unreasonable to go into any relationship expecting it to fulfill all of your wants and needs; it is unfair to expect someone else to supply the perfect life for you; that's actually your job.

As far as it being easier to take more space than to give in relationships - I

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