by Craig Williamson

Created on: February 21, 2009   Last Updated: February 25, 2009

Telling my parents that I am gay was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. It was ten years ago now, almost to the day and I still remember how I had to force my nervous tongue to form the words and then will my lips to spit them out. True, my parents had suspected, but they were still shocked to finally hear their fears confirmed.

Now, neither of my parents are, or were bigots by any stretch of the imagination. But, they were very uninformed about what it means to be gay (especially my father). My mother later confided with me that my dad felt as though he was a failure as a father, that he somehow didn't do enough for me. course I did everything I could to reassure him of the opposite; that he was, and is a great father, but I wish that I had been better prepared for his reaction.

In that light, I'd like to share some advice on how to tell your parents that you are gay (if of course you are gay). But first, a not of caution:

You should seriously consider whether or not it is safe for you to tell them. Are they likely to become violent? Are they likely to throw you out of the house? Do you have a place to go if they do? You really need to consider these factors. I know of a number of young men and women whose parents either became violent, or immediately kicked them out of the house, sometimes both. good friend of mine was beaten so badly by his father that he needed surgery on his nose, not to mention the cracked ribs and broken arm. They haven't spoken since and that was years ago. What about your parents? If you expect a violent reaction, it is likely best to wait until you do have some place to go to and you aren't dependent on them. I know, it's painful, but hang in there.

However, if you are like me and are blessed enough to have good parents, there are some ways that you can make the coming-out experience much easier on them and yourself.

1. Plan.You should think of the place and time that you want to tell them, and exactly how you want to tell them. Don't blurt just blurt it out at the family dinner table, or when your mother is driving you some place. If you are older, and already live away it might be best to invite them over for dinner and tell them after the meal has been eaten. Or, if you do still live at home you could ask them to sit down in the living room for a while.

2. Research. Read up on the facts.If your parents are like mine, they might not have ever known gay people before and those who don't know any gays (or at least none

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