by Melissa Manning

Created on: February 21, 2009

After doing my own personal research and reading, I have an answer. Addictions are, in the most fundamental level, something we feel entitled to. If we can stop kidding ourselves in this one thing, we can break an addiction.

There are many reasons that people open themselves up to addictive substances or actions, even though they know the decision is not the wisest one. One of the most well-known is the self-destructive impulse, when a person feels so unworthy of even self love that he/she does harmful things. Another is the desire to be accepted; this leads people to give in to peer pressure or to try to enhance their image by doing foolish things they feel are 'cool.' Sometimes people are seeking thrills or trying to escape from the realities of their lives.

In all of these cases, people who become addicts may be fairly naive and innocent as they start. But there is something that makes them continue past the point of an easy return. I am convinced that this factor is a belief that the addictive agent is something so necessary that there is a good excuse to continue.

A man who tries cocaine may feel more alive, sexier, more capable, and altogether better while under the influence of the drug. When he comes off the drug, he does not look at himself and see reality. He looks back to the false sense of improvement and sees it as something he needs to do. Soon he is driven by both physical and emotional dependency, but he feels that the benefit of the drug is worth the cost. He tells himself he needs to be on cocaine to be more effective at work or in social settings. The truth is that he can no longer take an objective look at where he really is.

A woman who is addicted to shopping may tell herself that she deserves the new item, that it is OK to be good to herself, and that she is saving money by buying on sale. She may argue that she works hard, after all, and deserves a day at the spa or a new hair cut or more comfortable shoes. She looks at her credit card debt as something that is inevitable, not really her fault. She is out of control but tells herself that she is doing the best she can.

Another may be addicted to pornography, but excuse it because, after all, people have urges and those urges are overwhelming. Others gamble; the thrill blinds them to the cost and they can be ruined while still believing they are about to win and justify all. Some drink and regard it as merely a relaxing tool or a harmless leisure-time activity. Others smoke and feel entitled to do so even at the expense of their health and the health of those around them.

All of these people feel that they either deserve to do what they like, that human nature makes them do it, or that they are victims of something too big for them to control. The truth is that they can control this part of their life if they want to. However, the desire to want to overcome an addiction must be stronger than the feeling of entitlement.

If someone truly wants to quit an addiction, that person must stop believing that there is any excuse for continuing. This is the all-important first step. After that, the addict may and probably will need help, whether from family, friends, God, or a program. The desire to return to the addictive lifestyle may never stop. However, a truly dedicated person can live with this burden and soldier on. Many have done it and live their lives free of addiction.

I know. I have done it. But I wasted many years telling myself that it was too big a problem for me to handle. After I stopped loving my addiction as well as hating it and accepted that there was no reason that excused me, I was able, by God's grace, to escape. I am thankful every day.

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