by Don Eckman

Created on: February 20, 2009   Last Updated: May 11, 2011

Okay, let me start of by saying I was one of those kids that could be considered 'dangerous' when it comes to these kinds of situations. Most likely because a 'dangerous' girl was my best friend when I was 6 or so, I knew what girls and boys were about what their naughty bits looked like -at least, what they looked like at that age - and had some idea what sex was about. That said, I didn't find it very interesting aside from the sleeping together (in the literal sense) part, likely because the equipment wasn't working right.

This girl and I never had sleepovers, but we had plenty of time to explore the more private side of playing house. Supervision has been brought up a few times in this debate, though only pertaining so sleepovers. Sleepovers are probably one of the lower risk times considering that they tend to involve multiple children, wouldn't you say? One should be more worried about times when their boy or girl is alone, if one is to worry at all.

As I said, I was a sexually aware child. Even with that first-hand knowledge most children don't have, I didn't find sex very interesting until I was at least 12 and going through puberty. Kissing was fun but I didn't get a thrill out of it. I liked being seen holding her hand, it made me feel more mature than all the cooties fearing kids (plus it kept the less mature ones, bullies and the like off my back). Pretending to sleep together was comforting and I liked talking mushy with her. Beyond that, she was just another friend, although my favourite. I knew other girls at the time and never made advances on them like I did with her.

There is a key ingredient missing in pre-pubescent sexual relationships that makes them harmless. I'd much prefer to have my future son or daughter experiment before hormones were raging and pregnancy was an issue, personally. With how open children tend to be, they would likely ask questions about what they'd experienced - like I did - and alert their parents before it became dangerous. Granted, my parents freaked out and wouldn't let me be alone with her indoors anymore when they found out. It was a shame, since it damaged our friendship.

Our family moved away well before I hit puberty, so I'm not sure how things would have developed at that point. If given the opportunity - which is unlikely since both our families were on alert - it's likely we would've had sex. Puberty came at around 12 for me though, making that off topic.

I'll reinforce what others on this side of the argument have said: forbidden knowledge is more desirable and less accurate than freely available knowledge. Talking to your children about the facts of life well before puberty will let you breathe much easier in the long run. Don't bother with that stork or cabbage patch stuff. If a child is old enough and aware enough to ask about sex, they're old enough to know the facts of it. They'll figure it out eventually, and you'll be better off if you accept that and make it easier for them.

Learn more about this author, Don Eckman.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.