by Kimberly Chitwood

Created on: February 20, 2009

When someone talks about a non-verbal learning disability, most people assume that the person with this disability can't communicate at all. Let's understand that just because someone can't talk (be verbal), that doesn't mean that the same person can't communicate. The word "non-verbal", by definition, means not being able to talk. That's it. Now, the disability itself isn't that simple, but it's important to look at this disability with an open-mind and to clear up any misconception that a lot of people have about it.

I have a friend who has three special needs children. One of those children is six and has a non-verbal disability, among other issues. She can't talk and communicate on a 6-year-old level. However, she does communicate with her family members and teachers. She knows most of what's going on around her. She just doesn't have a way to express it. She giggles when something is funny. She cries when she's hungry, sad, or mad. She communicates on about 12-month-old level. She has moderate physical delays, she's blind with no developed eyelid on one side, she has Sensory Processing Disorder, and yet, she is still a very happy little girl. When I see that little girl interact with her family, especially her mother and father, it's a true delight. She's very smart, but most people don't see past how she looks on the outside and the fact that she can't verbally communicate to the lovely girl she is on the inside.

The point is that when helping a child with a non-verbal learning disability at home, it's important to remember what they CAN communicate and not focus so much on what they can't. You have to observe the child to find out how he is feeling at the time she's trying to communicate with you. Most non-verbal children can communicate to some extent. They may grunt, point, be touch-feely/have a close bond with their primary caregiver, and/or do sign language (if they've been taught). Whatever their gestures or behaviors might be, you must be willing to decipher them.

Patience is the key, though, to taking care of any special needs child. With the non-verbal child, they probably get just as frustrated as the person trying to meet their needs because they can't SAY what they want to express. You being patient with the child enough to understand where he is coming from and how you would feel if you couldn't talk is one of the best things you can do. You're teaching that child that he needs to slow down and communicate as best he can and not worry about something that he can't do.

Showing the non-verbal child that you love him just the way he is is vital. He needs to be able to depend on you, trust you, and lean on you. He needs to know that no matter how little/much he can communicate with you, he's still a special person.

My friend is a true example of how to deal with a non-verbally disabled child. She's patient, understanding, loving, and trustworthy. She wants the best for her child, even if her child will never be able to function in society like you and me. So, because she wants the best for her child, she still tries to find ways for her child to be as independent as possible. She hasn't let the fact that her child is non-verbal keep her from seeing to her other developmental needs.

When HELPING a non-verbal child at home, you need to still let her do what she CAN do. You help her to learn how to express herself and communicate in different ways than talking. Most non-verbal are very smart. Let her shine and boost her confidence by giving her a CHANCE to be at least partially normal.

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