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There we were in the middle of a large department store when our three-year-old threw a temper tantrum. I warned him that if he didn't stop, we would go home. He continued screaming, kicking, and squirming away from me. "That's it," I said. "We are going home and you are taking a nap." With a struggle, I picked him up, set him in the shopping cart, apologized to a clerk as I handed her the items from my cart, and took our four children home. Our other children were terribly disappointed that I didn't make the purchases for them and they let their brother know it. That child never threw another temper tantrum in a store.

Quickly diffusing a child's temper tantrum means being prepared with your options. Every parent should have tactics in mind for such an event. Obviously, it depends on where you are, and the current situation, as to how you handle it.

When we were at home and the child demanded his own way, I would simply walk away without saying a word. (Children are apt to injure themselves during temper tantrums, so it is necessary to maintain a watchful eye on them.) After some more screaming, kicking and perhaps throwing toys around, the child stopped because he wasn't getting the reaction he expected. This technique requires not only patience but consistency each time he tries his tantrum at home. If he doesn't get the attention or end result he's seeking, he gives up throwing tantrums after several unsuccessful attempts.

I recall a parent telling how he was in a restaurant when one of his children erupted into a tantrum. He walked over to the child, took her hand and walked her outside the restaurant. He got down on one knee, so he was at eye level with her. "Either you stop behaving like this or you and I will sit in the car while the rest of the family enjoys their meal." She continued screaming. He took her to the car, where they sat until the others joined them. She learned a lesson that she never forgot.

If they were in their home, another parent would join his child in having a temper tantrum. When the child began screaming and stamping his feet, the adult did so right along side the child. At first, it made the child even more angry, but eventually, he stopped because it wasn't working for him.

Lastly, parents should review their own manner of handling stressful or tiring situations. Do you yell and scream out of control? Could your child be learning this technique from you? Children mirror the adults in their lives. Perhaps you need to say, "That's it. We need to take a nap."

Learn more about this author, Joyce George.
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