by Michy Lynn

Created on: February 20, 2009   Last Updated: February 22, 2009

In this world, there is nothing that is absolute. There are no blacks and whites, but rather varying degrees of gray that on the ends might mimic the extremes. Human sexuality and attraction is yet one more of those gray areas. Attraction factor is a big determining factor to what humans like to call: sexual orientation.

Gay, straight, bisexual, homosexual, heterosexual - they are all just labels, ways to fit people into neat little boxes and say, "This person is" Personally, I don't define myself or anyone else as being anything that I or they 'do'. We are more than the sum of the things we do. Who we are is infinite and unlimited. The labels we place on people is merely one way of limiting them, or perhaps even limiting ourselves.

I have never walked into a party and shaken someone's hand and said, "Nice to meet you. I'm (insert name), the heterosexual." Generally, I also don't shake someone's hand and say, "Hi, I'm (insert name), and I drive a red car." Why? Because what I do (driving a red car) is completely inconsequential when it comes to defining who I am.

As it is with what car I drive, or what television shows I like to watch, or what gender I might invite into my bedroom: I am not the sum of what I do. Who I am is not defined by any one activity, and most definitely not by any one (or multiple) sexual encounters or relationships.

The truth is, all of us are varying degrees of shades of colors and differences and strengths and weaknesses. Sexuality is really not any different than anything else in life in that respect.

I believe that love truly is blind. We don't truly choose who we love; we only choose how we love, and what love we act upon. Attraction is yet one more thing we don't choose. On the attraction factor scale, no one is 100% on either end. We all have varying degrees of attraction for males and females. We have to. If we didn't, a woman could not ever call another woman a friend. After all, to be friends with someone, there has to be something that attracted you to them, right?

So on a purely basic, attraction-factor scale, there is no true homosexuality and heterosexuality. How a person chooses to act upon the attraction factor, what they do with the attractions they feel, and how far they carry those attractions then determines the label of homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual.

You might love your best friend, who happens to be the same gender, and you are probably attracted to him or her, in the sense that something about them appeals to

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