by Jennifer Hall

Created on: February 20, 2009   Last Updated: March 08, 2009

Have you ever just wanted to forget about your past and never look back? You are not alone if you answered yes. Most people feel this way from time to time. I know I do. But, this way of thinking is not the right answer.

There are so many bad memories and painful events that took place in my past, and for a long time I would not even acknowledge that they took place. There are just some things you just don't want to remember. Trust me I understand.

I was raped when I was eighteen years old by someone very close to me at the time. The shame and heartache this caused me was something I wanted to pretend never happened. Then one day I realized by sharing this experience with other women might help prevent the same thing from happening to them. This way of thinking made it easier for me to live with my past. I definitely did not want this to happen to someone else. Now I tell my story to women all over the place. it has helped to.

Not long after I was raped I lost my cousin, she was also my best friend. She was twenty three years old when she passed away. Her death sent me over the edge. I could not deal with anything else, which resulted in a nervous breakdown for me. I decided from that point on that I was not going to think about my past at all. I did this for a long time, never looking back just living in the moment. Then, just like before, I realized by not thinking of her that I was not honoring her memory at all. When my heart opened up the memories of her overflowed it. I felt so much better after that single realization hit me. I remembered her beautiful smile and her laugh, it brought tears to my eyes, but they were long overdue.

A lot of things has happened to me since then. Recently a very dear friend of mine committed suicide. I was utterly devastated by this. No one seen this coming. I did not even have a clue that he was having problems. I almost reverted back to my old way of thinking. I wanted to put his death in the past and never look back, but this time I was stronger. It was hard for me to stand my ground, but I did.

In closing, our pasts are a part of who we are. It may have painful memories, but without them we probably wouldn't be who we are today. We learn from the mistakes we made in our past, and we remember our loved ones from our past. By not living with your past, you are not really living at all. Always remember that some of your best days were in your past, so lets not forget them.

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