by Rene Schwiesow

Created on: February 20, 2009   Last Updated: February 21, 2009

We are still plagued as a society that stigmatizes divorce. Divorce is never easy; yet we, as a collective society, tend to jump to conclusions regarding the reasons people divorce and label them as pathological symptoms of a lack of respect for the institution of marriage, or the lack of spirituality, the misunderstanding of love. It is a fact that religion frowns on divorce, that doctrine may consider the divorced individual as "fallen away." And yet it is becoming more evident that universal Spirit is not owned by any one dogma, creed or doctrine.

It is the view of divorce by much of society as being "wrong" that may keep an individual who needs to find their way out of an unhealthy marriage feeling "stuck." The person may struggle with guilt that may consume them for even thinking of the possibility of a life without the one they swore to remain married to till "death do us part." Some people would rather die than get a divorce and they do. Emotional stress may begin with something as seemingly benign as restlessness and a few sleepless nights, but may evolve into physical issues such as high blood pressure or gastric disorders. The reason that these people may be seeking divorce is not as superficial as their saying that they have "fallen out of love." In fact, the individual may still love the person they want to divorce, but staying in an unhealthy situation turns love toxic. And, yes, love can absolutely become a toxic emotion.

Love need not disappear at the time of a divorce. In fact, there are times when divorce may be the most loving thing that can be done not only for the two divorcing but for others involved as well. Divorce doesn't happen overnight. There are warning signs that a marriage is no longer working and often those warning signs come through symptoms that can be termed as spiritual emergence. It may be worthwhile here to differentiate between religiosity and spirituality. According to "The Thesaurus of Psychological Index Terms," religiosity "is associated with religious organizations and religious personnel, while spirituality is the "degree of involvement or state of awareness or devotion to a higher being or a life philosophy. Not always related to conventional religious beliefs." It is the conflict between the religiosity that an individual has been taught and the spirituality they may hold within themselves that can be a source of emotional or psychological stress for an individual.

When a person begins to enter a state of "awakening,"

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