by Julio Rangel

Created on: February 19, 2009   Last Updated: February 22, 2009

Every day in this world someone is dealing with the grief wrung out by losing a loved one. We deal with death in different ways. Some cry with no end in sight. Some shut down to the world surrounding us. And some remember and recall the fond memories. It's almost always easy to deal with when a death is something that was expected and the surprise element as been almost taken out. Unfortunately, we don't always have that luxury in most cases. The death of a loved one can hit so suddenly that goodbyes were never given. How do we deal with it?

There are people who find out through a phone call about a sudden death of a loved one, or see on the news of an accident that took the lives of a family member or a close friend. After the sudden shock and sadness that hits we almost always think back to our last conversation or meeting. If it was not good then a overwhelming sense of guilt overcomes us and we allow that to consume us in a horrible way. You feel like a bad person and it could ruin your life if you allow it to. I know what you're wondering..... How do we go on with this feeling?

The most important thing to understand is you need to learn from all experiences good and bad. You can never change the past from happening the way it did. All we can do is take our future and shape it the way we want to. The best way to deal with the death of a loved one is to deal with it before they leave this earth. Don't wait till their funeral to say what they meant to you. Tell and show your loved ones everyday that your world is a better place because they are here. Everybody wants to feel loved while their alive and know that they will be missed when they are gone.

On May eighteen my daughter will be three years old. I won't get to kiss her or hug her or hear her tell me she loves me. Instead I will look towards heaven and thank her for helping me get through the moments when her memory shakes every tear out of my body. I knew when she was born that she was sick and that God may take her away from me. I never let a second go by without telling her how much I loved her. I will always deal with her loss and I will always have moments that are harder then others.

When you accept God's plan and know that you did all you can to show how much you care then any death will be easier to deal with whether it be sudden or expected. Go on with your life and if you are proud of the person that you are then others will be proud to have had you in their life and there will be nothing that can't be forgiven. I was the best father I could be while my little girl was with me so I have no regrets. Be the best friend, spouse, sibling, child, parent, and especially, the best person you can be and you too will have no regrets.

I believe that our loved ones who have past listen to us when we talk to them. So even if we never got the chance to say goodbye physically, take a few moments and look to heaven and tell them the goodbye you never got to say and they will hear you because they already knew what was in your heart.

Learn more about this author, Julio Rangel.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.