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Some cheaters are lucky enough to be with a person who loves them enough to forgive them and these cheaters may truly repent. However, this is not always the case, for the saying, "Once a cheater always a cheater" is found most often to be true.

The only rational way to explain the truth in this quote is to examine the psychology involved. Let us take, for example, the fictional couple Kate and Jake. Kate is a beautiful, intelligent young woman who loves her husband Jake. Jake is also a handsome, intelligent young man who loves his wife Kate. However, Kate is unhappy. She complains, mostly to herself, that Jake doesn't show his affections enough. She's really not that type of girl. So, she meets Dan in her workplace and they hit it off. They begin an affair. An observer will note that the couple has no major issue. Kate and Jake mutually love each other, and they're both pretty and intelligent persons. However, the observer must also ask, "Why would Kate cheat if they love each other? Why couldn't she have told Jake to show his affections more?"

Human emotions are funny in that way. For Kate, it was easier for her to find someone else than to fix something that she saw as "broken." Then, let us say that Jake finds out that Kate is cheating and Kate apologizes, though lots of tears, arguments, and walking-outs are involved. Jake forgives Kate a few days later, and Kate promises to "never do it again." So they remain married, they get some counseling, and they stay together for a few more years, and Kate does it again.

Why does she do it again? Because she was able to. Think of it this way: a conditioned action is one which is praised or ignored, so much so that it tends to repeat. Cheating is a conditioned action. Though it may seem as though the reasons for cheating are trivial, the actual reasons behind those trivial reasons are deeply-ingrained. For Jake and Kate, their problems weren't just about lack of showing affection. Instead, it could have had something to do with their sexual relationship or their compatibility as a whole. When they didn't address that, the wound opens up a few years later and Kate cheats again.

So, most cheaters remain cheaters because their actions are never truly punished. Their old relationships break up and they can start afresh with someone else who doesn't know their cheating past and the cycle repeats itself. These people have a mentality that tells them, "There's more people out there for me, so why not?"

Learn more about this author, Joan Inong.
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