by Kris Zelunka

Created on: February 18, 2009

All relationships offer obstacles, though these obstacles are often compounded in long distance relationships. That's not to say that a long distance relationship can't work. But for the relationship to work, both partners need to be committed to making it work, and understand what the other expects of them.

Obviously, if the couple has only been together a month or two, the chances of a long distance relationship working are slim. After all, the beginning of a relationship is all about getting to know the other person. If that person is miles away, then it is very hard to consolidate the relationship.

However, if the couple has been together for a considerable amount of time and decide for whatever reason that one of the partners must move away, making the relationship a long distance one, then it is possible to make it work, assuming both partners are willing to commit to the change in circumstances.

For a long distance relationship to work, both partners must be willing to make compromises, and work towards keeping the relationship strong. The main thing is to maintain strong contact with your partner, which means frequent phone calls, emails, text messages, and where possible, travelling to see each other.

Specific times should be set aside for phone calls to each other. You're not going to communicate effectively if one or both of you are talking to each other while out having a few drinks with friends or colleagues. You need to make the phone calls your 'time together' in lieu of actual physical time spent with each other.

It might help to keep a record of anything important that has happened to you between phone calls, so that you can share these with your partner. Although you may not be in the physical vicinity, it's important that you include each other in what's happening in your daily lives.

Setting up guidelines for acceptable behaviour is also important when conducting a long distance relationship. Laying boundaries after something you deem unacceptable has happened is going to make the relationship much more difficult to maintain. Before your partner leaves, it is important to sit down and talk about what's acceptable, and what isn't, and to come to an agreement about what the rules while apart are.

No relationship is easy, and trying to keep the magic alive while separated is even more difficult. But that doesn't mean that a long distance relationship can't work. It simply takes commitment, trust and effort on both sides for it to succeed.

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