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Created on: February 18, 2009
Having had an affair , I can tell you there are definitely pro's and con's to having one. I was lonely but not out looking and there he was. A new electrician had just been transferred in from working on a railroad in Illinois. I was working a supplyman's position at the Southern Pacific Railroad. Our eye's met and thats all it took.
The man I was having an affair with was married to his second wife who had one child. He had 3 son's with his first marriage.
Pro's: This man loved me and I had never been married and had dated very little. I have someone who takes care of me. There are a lot of single people out in society looking for love. It is not necessarily infidelity on the part of a spouse but rather a single person. I do not believe most people go out searching for married people to have an affair with. It just happens. Their are a lot of pros's to having an affair and if there was one to be found, I found it. Falling in love was the only pro I needed.
Cons: If there are children involved as there was with the man I was seeing, it can be heart breaking for both parties. Having this child caused the man I was having an affair with to stay with his wife on numerous occasions after having left her to be with me. Another con to having an affair is the terrible guilt of leaving your child behind. A marriage will not work out if a person stays in the relationship and if they leave the relationship via an affair, there is a lot of guilt . Another con is if the married person goes back to their spouse leaving you hi and dry.
Other cons: Friends that will look down on you for having an affair with a married man or woman. It is terribly hard to have friends at this time in your life. Another situation is if there are mutual friends of the married couple and the other person involved in the affair. Now the worst con that I can think of is if all of the parties are involved with one another. In other words you are friends with the wife of the man you are having an affair with.
I will speak in the present tense now and say that my involvement with a married man led to my getting married to him. He was not happy in his marriage and I came along. We have been married now for 23 years.
There are so many pro's and con's to having an affair. It is difficult to muddle through the con's of an affair. I am an example of the pro's of an affair. But I definitely had to go through the con's.
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