by Melinda Barr

Created on: February 18, 2009

Because normal behaviors vary from one person to the next, it can be very difficult to determine regular emotions from serious problems. This is particularly true in children and adolescents. What one parent sees as regular childhood stages of development, another might view as depression. Concurrently, one adult may see their feelings as attributable to life situations, while another views it as a sign of illness.

With the almost limitless amount of information available to us, it can be very easy to be unable to differentiate between regular emotions and depression. Who hasn't had feelings or sadness, or aloneness at one time or another? What child hasn't pretended to be sick or refused to go to school at some time or another? What teen doesn't feel depressed or overwhelmed on occasion?

It is only when the negative emotions or behavior continues over a period of several weeks that we should seek a professional diagnosis. Being more open and willing to examine ourselves is the first step we must take. How we manage stress and conflict at home can do much to assist us, and our children, in dealing with obstacles outside of the home.

Adults need to determine and set limits on the family's values and ethics, and thus become the role model for their children. Whether it is your own health behaviors, or the way you treat other people, your children are learning from what you do. Setting limits on self-control and self-respect is key to maintaining a happy healthy household.

Unfortunately, we have become somewhat of a "quick fix" society. We look for quick fixes or gloss over emotional issues rather than deal with them head on. We become quick to blame and even quicker to push aside our feelings. Because we have low levels of coping skills does not mean that we have depression.

Understanding and maintaining personal values and ethics is important. Yet many of us fail to recognize the importance of these issues. We need to develop high levels of empathy, honesty, self-reliance and kindness both in our selves and in the manner in which we treat others. It is very difficult to maintain good emotional health at times, yet it is also imperative that we do so.

Recognizing normal reactions to life's stresses and obstacles and how they differ from more serious issues is paramount. We all know that feelings of sadness, hopelessness and the like strike all of us at different times. These are normal healthy reactions to whatever negative situation we are facing at the time.

Many times moral or emotional bankruptcy is at the root of many feelings of loneliness or sadness. In this case we can often lift our negative feelings ourselves. There is one key factor to consider when determining feels of regular emotions and the possibility of a more serious problem. Emotional problems that persist for weeks at a time are very good indicators of a more serious problem. Then, and only then, do we need to seek outside help.

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