by Latrevia Chatman

Created on: February 18, 2009   Last Updated: February 22, 2009

It is not the modern day relationships creating these "Peter Pan" personalities, but they are probably offspring's of hippy parents that were too self involved. How is it possible to think that a relationship started later on in life, can interrupt an individual's upbringing?

Prime example is my soon to be ex-husband, who is very self centered. We have two children. He provides basic financial needs, while I provide nurturing. I cook, clean, and make life easy so all he has to do is participate at will. That apparently, is still not enough, and we are blocking him from living his life to the fullest. It is not my diligent role in our failing marriage that causes him to shirk off his responsibilities as a father and husband, but his upbringing.

His parents divorced while he was young, and they somehow managed to live for themselves while the children suffered. After each remarried, each child continued to suffer, and to this day they still do, well into their 30s and 40s. My husband being the youngest, was given things that he wanted and more, but at the same time was neglected. He began taking after his step-father, believing he was entitled to anything and not having to put forth the effort, and treating those he love as if they are his enemies.

Here we are in 2009, where my husband is not yet 30, but will have 2 divorces with marriages lasting about 2 years each in less than a decade. With two children, he is more eager to buy for himself before anyone else. I have to constantly hear how his money is being spent (absolute basic necessities) on his family when he should be out funding his hobbies. Though it is possible to live on one salary, it's more beneficial for me to work, just to be able to take care of the things he refuses to.

What I have learned with from men, including my husband, is that their responsibilities are carried on from what they know. If they grew up in a household knowing what had to be done and to do it, they will continue to do so. Therefore, it is imperative to know the background of your significant other, because how you will be treated, and what they deem as responsible lies in their upbringing.

However, being irresponsible does not have to be a lifelong curse. Given certain situations, willingness to learn, and adaptability can reverse the "Peter Pan" syndrome. The downside, is that not everyone can wait so long for those who just don't get it.

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