by Richard Canhan

Created on: February 18, 2009

Drama: Family conflict
The drama of a family conflict has got to be the most time absorbing (time wasting) debilitating event in the world. We all know the saying, you can choose your friends but you can't choose family is true to a point. Family is blood and family is also by marriage, adoption, whatever and it forges who we are and what we are.

Every family will have a conflict at some time and someone will always be referred to as the black sheep of the family. It is human nature to be competitive, to be the best and not to be downtrodden and it starts with sibling rivalry and can continue on throughout life if not checked. Unfortunately more often than not some families or members will disown another member (sometimes deservedly so) but it takes a very brave person to overcome the obstacles and reach out to that family member and close the gap. It is again unfortunate that this usually happens just prior to someone dying and both parties are sad and sorry that they wasted all the time they could have spent together (in some cases years). It is too late then.

One of the main and more severe of the family conflicts could occur during a breakdown in the marriage and this scenario is very serious and all too common and can become very, very ugly quickly. This can include family children who can be and often are unwilling participates or pawns in a tug of war or tug of love between adults, adults who could not bear to be separated from them and some take the grim and unthinkable steps on a path of evil destruction. Serious and professional advice needs to be implemented to ensure the limited impact on any children involved.

Any family conflict that involves a child is serious. Other types of family conflicts can occur anytime, but usually serious conflicts happen around the time children reach their teens and they know absolutely everything there is to know in life and they believe they are indestructible. Whilst it is good to foster confidence and self esteem in them as young adults, we must also ensure that we don't set them up for failure. Every action has a reaction and it is a very fine line we all take but it is imperative they learn from their own mistakes without a parent breaking their fall (too many times) or going the other way with I told you so.

Another saying is money is the root of all evil, I believe many serious family conflicts occur because of money, either too much or too little. The death of a wealthy relative is a certain recipe to bring the wolves out in any family, even those who may not have even spoken to the poor unfortunate member of the family for years, they will still line up for their share of the kill. It is at these times that you will witness the darker side of some families as the estate is torn to shreds with little regard to the deceased.

I sincerely hope that this is not the case for many as that would cause a family conflict on its own, but if we were really honest then I'm sure many of us could recall an incident where the scenario mentioned above was not far from the truth.

In this day and age of modern technology we are all closer than we used to be and maintaining contact has never been easier, despite that there are those who (for reasons known only to them) want to remain in seclusion and un-contactable which is sad for all involved.

Maintaining a happy family is an important aspect of growing up and being part of a family is something to be cherished. I guess a certain amount of family conflict is inevitable when living in close proximity. So whether you are living together, in the same town or country, we are all in the same world so make the effort and close the gap.

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