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Ten Relationship Check Points

It is healthy to review these marital check-ups at least once a year to uncover cracks in a marriage before they become chasms, and that such a look at your relationship can result in a renewed commitment to a rewarding, growing marriage.

1. Does your partner regularly receive more strokes than knocks from you? The person who regularly receives more positive than negative communications from a spouse can weather negatives now and then. A person who gets more knocks than strokes might be overwhelmed by an additional negative. It is important to the happiness of your partner that you convey positive communication to him/ her.

2. Is the majority of your leisure time shared? Many couples share housework and other necessary activities, and this sharing give them good vibes. It is just as important, however, that both partners share leisure time together as well. Togetherness might be losing its appeal if the majority of either partner's leisure time is spent either alone, or with others outside of the marriage.

3. Are you able to spend more time together away from all? Couples should plan a special togetherness event on a regular basis. A constant state of activity can either choke out togetherness or be used as an escape for closeness. When a couple can look forward to a special planned event for the just for them selves and later look back on it, it can provide abundant satisfaction.

4. Do you usually settle disagreements with mutual satisfaction and no bitterness? Sometimes differences do take place and must be handled. It is important to handle them in such a way that good feelings for and about each other can exist afterward. Use of physical force or verbal assault is no way to resolve a disagreement without creating some type of bitterness. In a disagreement, the couple should not resort to name-calling, bring up everything wrong that he or she knows about the other partner, or expose his or her vulnerable areas in an attempt to "win" the disagreement.

5. Between the two of you, do you have a satisfying, balanced at home an away-from-home work load? A 50-50 division of home chores may not be workable or desirable. Some chores done by one spouse may be symbolic the husband's limited participation in certain household tasks may mean sharing and caring to his wife. The important thing is not how much each one does, but how each one feels about the division of the home chores. Of course, feelings about work at home usually relate to the

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