by Lillian Joyce

Created on: February 17, 2009

I went to the store the other day with my six year old daughter. While walking through the aisle I saw something that completely baffled me. We were near the toy section when I heard a little boy yelling loudly. He couldn't have been more the seven. His face was flushed and all scrunched up and at the top of his lungs he yelled at his mother, "I want this toy, NOW!" And the mother didn't even pause, she just said yes and put the toy in the cart. I couldn't believe what I had witnessed. I looked at my daughter and explained how disrespectful and inappropriate the child's behavior was.

Teaching our children respect begins in the home. How our children are allowed to act towards us, will dictate how they act towards other people. If we teach them to use their manners and to respect others, they will carry that on to all areas of their lives. At a young age a child must be taught to ask for things and not to demand. It is hurtful and rude to be bossy and mean. Providing clear examples and enforcing rules will go a long way towards teaching your child to respect others. The building blocks of respect is teaching children to say please and thank you, and to lead by example when speaking with others. If we as parents role model this behavior, our children will imitate without a second thought. Make please and thank you and excuse me a constant part of your household by gently reminding children each time they make a request or receive something.

Teach respect by giving respect. If we are constantly yelling at our children and telling them what to do, we are not showing respect towards them. They will continue to try to test the boundaries and we will gradually lose the battle. Instead, being respectful to our children will give them a positive example to follow. This does not mean to give in to their every whim, but explaining why they are not allowed to do or have something will show that you are mindful of their feelings. When we allow our children to make decisions for themselves and stand behind their decisions we are teaching not only respect, but positive self-esteem. Even something as little as what socks they want to wear will make them feel important and independent. A necessity as they learn how to behave in the adult world.

At a very young age, children can be taught to be respectful by reminding them to use their words. Even my six year old will sometimes have a meltdown and throw a fit. But a gentle reminder to use her words to communicate what is wrong can help make her feel valued. Teaching her how to express herself in clear and positive ways will allow her to not only respect herself but others as well. Doing this will give her the interpersonal skills to speak with other individuals as she gets older.

Every day lessons will begin teaching our children how to respect themselves and each other. These important lessons need to be taught in the home from a young age. We cannot expect our children to know how to behave themselves without proper examples and guidance from us as parents. Without these lessons we cannot expect our children to go out into the adult world and learn respect on their own. But if taught early, and consistently, our children can become polite and well mannered adults.

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