by Joyce M. George-Knight

Created on: February 17, 2009   Last Updated: February 20, 2009

Just as you cannot successfully type a letter without knowing the placement of the keys on the keyboard or how to use word processing, so too you need knowledge of the keys to a successful relationship in order for it to be long-lasting. After all, if you are investing time and putting your feelings on the line, there is an expectation that it will be reciprocated and, hopefully, last forever.

It's easy to spot individuals who do not know and love themselves well. They blame others for everything; they try to control anybody they can, and are never happy. So, if they aren't happy or loving, how do they expect to bring happiness and love into the life of another person?

You must be in tune with yourself. This is a two-part process. This includes an awareness of what makes you tick, and what makes you ticked off. What are triggers that cause a reaction? What is needed emotionally to be happy? Do you have goals, both long-term and short-term? Do you have a plan of action for such goals?

The second part of the process is determining whether the you love yourself. If you are constantly wishing you could change something about yourself, you probably don't love you. Are you happy with who you are? Are you pleased with your choices or decisions?

Who said it first, I don't know, but I grew up hearing that "you can't love somebody else if you don't love yourself first."

Therefore, once you have reached the point of loving yourself, you are ready to begin a relationship with that very special someone, with whom you would like to spend the rest of your life and create a future together.

Once you have connected with that person, communication is the next key. Can you talk openly, freely with your partner about absolutely anything? Have you discussed all the aspects of married life, including such items as:

- anticipated cost of shoes? - anticipated cost of beautician? - anticipated cost of hobby supplies? - anticipated cost of weekly groceries? - do you both plan to work full-time? - where do you hope to live some day? - do you plan to have children and how soon? - where you would want any children to attend school - how do you expect to spend weekend time? - should there be a guys night out and a girls night out? - does one expect to eat out frequently, while the other expects to have home cooked meals? - does one plan purchases and the other buys on a whim? - do you share the same religion and attend services regularly? - what if an elderly parent needs to live in your home,

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