2 of 4

Write now Article Tools

Staying strong after a breakup can be very difficult. After all at one time you loved partner and in most cases were planning a life together. Throwing that away is not natural and is going to be emotionally painful. I remember when I first broke up with my second girlfriend ever because the distance of that relationship was too much for her to handle. I did the wrong thing and ended up rebounding with someone that was significantly not good for me. The next seven years of my life became very difficult as I tried to maintain a friendship with my ex while being in another relationship. Altogether it was a ten-year journey that ultimately ended in my ex fiances suicide. I should have been stronger, I should have let go as soon as the relationship was complete. I couldn't because like many human beings I was unable to accept the reality that the relationship was over. It doesn't mean that you can not maintain a friendship with the past partner's in your life, but you must keep a certain level of distance between the two of you otherwise the pain will be too much.

I don't think that you ever fully get over losing a love. It's not natural because true love is supposed to last forever. If you can just turn it on and off it might not have been true love to begin with. To this day 16 months after her suicide there are songs that I will hear that reduce me to tears. It's not that I regret having moved forward, and I have excepted that I did the best that I could in that situation, the fact remains the you still hold onto the positive memories and is painful to carry on in the absence of someone that you completely loved. I find it helpful to reflect back on what the person I fell in love with would want for me. I'm not talking about the person that I broke up with, but the individual with whom I built many hopes and dreams. Sometimes it's easy to remember the person as they were when things were going well. I know that as she looks down on me from heaven she would desire that I find happiness. I can't do that living in the past, and thus I must look to the future. The best way to honor the love that once existed between two people is to step forward in strength and faith. Never really knowing where you are going but being willing to accept the journey anyway. Coverage is when you have lost your way but you keep on fighting anyway. Courage is when you're in pain but you keep on going anyway.

It's hard for me as I don't really have anyone outside of my mom that I can confide in. The rest of my blood relatives have chosen to be against me because I chose to expose my father's abusive ways. I think that's why it's hard for me even now to let alone any loss in relationship. It takes a lot for me to be open in social situations and therefore I don't like it when people choose to abandon what has been built. The fact is that the best way to go forward is to honor what once existed.

Learn more about this author, Joe Gadrow.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Break-ups: When strength fails?
We want to hear your view. Write now!