by Rachelle de Bretagne

Created on: February 17, 2009   Last Updated: June 19, 2009

When a child leaves the "nest", life changes. That room which has been their private haven for all of their lives becomes an empty space. There are so many things to think about when children become adults, though this article is written as a guide to those parents seeking information on moving forward, and who are unsure of the steps to take to re-stake their claim on what was once their child's room. It's a big step taken at a time when life is changing and emotions running high about no longer being needed by your teen, as they step out into a new world, leaving the nest empty.

*Will they visit?

*Frequency of visits.

*Are they insecure as independent adults?

*Giving their room to another child.

*Your lifestyle.

*Discussing in advance.

*Making changes.

Will they visit?

When a child first leaves home, chances are that they will still feel that the room is theirs. It always has been and just as it is hard for you to accept that they have gone, it is also hard for a child to think their absence goes unnoticed. If they are likely to visit on a regular basis and stay in your home, then their room can be kept for them as a guest room. Here, talk to them, and explain that while the room will always be theirs, there may be a need to update and freshen up the room as a guest room, so that you can use it for other guests as well as them.

This actually helps a child to make the break and to understand that while a mess is acceptable when they are living in that space, it isn't once they have left.

Frequency of visits.

If a child is away at college then the chances are that they will still consider their room to be theirs, for the time they return. Often parents forget how important that room is to them, and if they are likely to be a frequent visitor, talk to them about how they would like you to deal with their room. They are still a child, and in the case of studies or temporary absence, may still want to retain their status as part and parcel of the family.

Are they insecure as independent adults?

Often when a child leaves home to try out living on their own, they fail. Having the back-up of knowing that they can come home often gives them sufficient security to actually get on with life and not return. Talk to them about their security. As a parent, this helps you to establish how to tackle their room and often encouraging a child to help you makes them feel a part of the process.

Giving their room to another child.

If you intend to give their room

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