by Emese Tuza

Created on: February 16, 2009   Last Updated: February 18, 2009

I am a newlywed, my husband and I just got married last September. The first reality check came when we registered for our marriage license and the clerk asked me whether I was planning on changing my name. To change or not to change my last name to my husband's last name was a decision I didn't take lightly and agonized over, eventually choosing to change it.

Some women know immediately that they want to change, some know they don't want to change. What made my decision difficult? See my dilemma was due to my heritage. I am from Hungary and have a Hungarian first name and last name. I am also the last one in my family with my last name as my sister didn't keep hers and nobody else has my name in my family. In an effort to keep the name, I have given it to my son as a middle name to carry it on. I am also in my 40's, with an established identity and career and wanted to make sure a name change wouldn't disrupt my professional life.

However, love will make you do funny things - having the same last name was so very important to my husband, and I so wanted to be "part of the team" that I agreed to the change. Having the same last name would show my love and gratitude to my husband, and I wanted people to immediately know that we are married and this change would accomplish that goal. After our wedding ceremony, we were introduced as "Mr. and Mrs. Crumb", and looking over at my new husband with all the love the affection in my heart, I knew I made the right decision.

The actual switching of your last name is not as hard as everyone thinks, at least not in my state. First thing you want to do is obtain an official copy of your marriage license. It has to be a certified copy, so it needs to be obtained from the courthouse. With this document, you can change your social security number, driver's license and your bank accounts. You may also need it to change your name on your credit card accounts, etc. Before the wedding we opened our first checking account together, and this decision made it easier to go forward with other accounts. I still continue to find accounts, profiles, sites where my old name pops up, but I'm confident that I have covered the major parts.

Changing or not changing your name is a personal decision, and even though I was not exactly sure of the name change at first, I am confident that I have made the right decision. In the end, I have found a good compromise by keeping my maiden name as my middle name and taking my husband's last name.

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