by S.Stillwell

Created on: February 16, 2009   Last Updated: February 19, 2009

We all value our families and relationships, but it holds a special meaning for people who have suffered from a traumatic brain injury. Quite often, it is one of the only elements of their life before the traumatic brain injury they are able to recall and recognize as they adjust to their new life with different abilities, emotions, and memories.

I've written this article because I worked with several people who suffered from traumatic brain injuries in an assisted living facility for many years. Of the six people who lived there, four had family members who visited them at least once a month. The other two people were not as fortunate. One person only had a visit once or twice per year and the other never had a visitor in all the time I worked there. Please don't let your loved one suffer that same disappointment.

When family members or loved ones came to visit, it was always an event that the residents looked forward to with much anticipation. If you are visiting a family member who has a traumatic brain injury, here are some tips to prepare you for the best visit possible.

Remain Upbeat and Patient.

Don't dwell on your loved one's disabilities or how he used to be, but do ask what they've been doing and be encouraging about any therapies. Be patient if your loved one repeats things or asks the same questions over and over. Quite likely his short term memory is impaired and he'll need some time to be able to retain new information. If he has difficulty finding words or completing certain tasks, don't rush to finish it for him. Wait patiently for him to figure out or, if he seems frustrated, ask if he'd like some help.

Schedule A Short Outing, If Possible

Spending time alone with you will really lift your loved one's spirits. Getting out and about without the assistants and doctors he sees every day will help him feel more connected to you. If your loved one is unable to leave the facility where he lives, see if you can find a quiet hallway or place on the grounds to walk and talk.

Bring Something to Leave Behind as a Reminder of Your Visit

A photo or small memento is best, or something that you know he enjoys. Avoid "Get Well" cards (he doesn't need a reminder of his impairment, he lives with it every day) or stuffed animals (unless he's a child, has always loved stuffed animals, or if it has special meaning such as the mascot of his favorite sports team). Even if he doesn't remember who brought it or why when he sees it later, it will spark conversation with his care-givers about your visit and help him recall seeing his loved ones recently.

If You Feel Emotionally Overwhelmed, Take a Break - but DON'T Leave Without Saying Goodbye

It's understandable that seeing your loved one with his impairment may be upsetting to you. Try not to cry in front of him, however - excuse yourself to the rest room or say you need to make a quick call, and return as quickly as you can after you've gotten control of your emotions. Do not leave without saying goodbye - aside from being rude, it can upset your loved one and set him back in his therapies.

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