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Friendship Advice

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Can men and women be "just friends"?

Yes, it is completely possible that a man and a woman can co-exist in a strictly platonic relationship.

Penny and Sheldon from TV's The Big Bang Theory is a testament to friendship not being dependent on the gender of the friends involved. Sure, it gets a bit complicated when love enters the picture, but on a personal note, I've had a lot of girl friends (read: friends who are girls) and we remained as friends over the years, no strings attached. There is such a thing as "just friends" and I am a walking proof of that cliche.

We meet many people in our lives and more often, the people who share our interests are those ones in the same sex as us. Occasionally, that is not the case. Girls: You may have male buddies who share your passion for cooking as much as your girl friends. Guys: You do know some girls who love computer games as much as the next guy. It's clear that men and women can be together in a non-romantic situation/activity. There's no telling what the outcomes of those may be, but other than enjoying each other's company, I don't see anything else that could come out of cooking or playing a video game together. Maybe it can get romantic, but it won't always result in some kind of relationship.

The second part that completes the equation is the fact that not every male-female pairing will work romantically. You get my drift. There are guys who would look at their female friend as their little sister or even their best bud. It also works the other way around. In this world there are times when the odd pairing of a boy and a girl is just meant to be a platonic relationship. It's as simple as that, you just have to accept the fact that it's never going to reach another level. Fate can be quite cruel and it may seem too unfair. But if you decide to pursue your love for that person who only sees you as a friend, in the long run, you will realize that it's just one-sided.

As a closing statement, I now have to defend the guys' side here. It's a bit unfair to think that we only see women purely as sex objects. OK, so maybe there are guys who would think like that, but there are also guys who can appreciate women in a deeper level. I'm not saying that being in love is a shallow form of understanding, but for me being in "lust" is. I've been in love several times with some of my closer female friends but usually, it just subsides because I can foresee that it will never work between us. What matters most to me is that the friendship remained even after being severely infatuated. I can still be together with her, go out and see movies, eat in our favorite restaurant together, without anything happening between us. We're still good friends and that's all that matters to me.

201204_m Learn more about this author, Julius Albert Custodio.
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