by Lillian Joyce

Created on: February 15, 2009

It was a beautiful spring day with the sun shining through the trees and fluffy clouds on the horizon. I was driving home from work, like every other day before that one. On the steering wheel my hand began to tingle. "Did I bump my arm?" I thought to myself. I could think of nothing that could explain the tingling and numbness that was slowly making its way up my arm. It was like a million ants where swarming up and down my arms. The tingling stopped and then there was just this terrible numbness. I pinched my arms, causing bruises where the skin had been squeezed between my fingers. Reddish purple spots appeared moments later as I tried frugally to feel something on my arms! I could feel nothing in my fingers, wrist, hand, arm; nothing at all but a cold numbness.

I felt my body flush, burning hot like walking into a scolding hot shower. From my head to my toes I felt this warm sensation that caused the pores in my body to open. I could feel the sweat rolling down my back and popping out on my forehead. My heart was pounding and I could hear a rush of blood and pulse in my ears. My vision blurred and dark spots danced in the corner of vision. I tried to suck in air through my closing throat but the fear was just too much. The burning in my chest increased as I struggled my car onto the side of the road.

Huffing and in agony I sat in the car disorientated and weak. I felt like I was outside myself looking in. I forced my breath to slowly breath in and then release. My first thought was, "Am I dying?" My second thought was, "Should I call 911?" I did neither. After a moment or two my vision cleared and my heart slowed. The perspiration began to dry on my hot skin and the fuzziness in my brain began to regain organized thought. I could again feel my arms and I slowly wiggled my fingers in relief. But there terror of the moment was still with me and would linger for months to come.

This was the first of many anxiety attacks. After two visits to the emergency room and a neurologist later, I was finally referred to a psychologist. I was eventually diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. My relief was immense. I finally felt like there was an end to the panic I had been feeling over the last year.

Anxiety attacks are a very real response to a sometimes vague experience. They can happen out of no where for no apparent reason. The normal alert symptoms in the body kick in to over drive causing an overly dramatic response. It can take a long time to get a correct diagnosis, but do not give up. There is help out there for people who are in this situation. The sooner help is sought, the sooner the patient can return to a normal, fulfilling life.

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