by Casey-Leigh Hethers

Created on: February 15, 2009

Living in today's world, where multiculturism is a strongly promoted and healthy attitude to any person's daily habits, our teens should be equally encouraged to have a wide mix of friends - including those from the opposite gender. However, staying over for the night, as teenagers, when hormones may well be raging should be a situation that is carefully considered by the adult(s) designated as being in charge. It is quite probable that the large majority of teens can be trusted to be sensible and act responsible when given this opportunity. Define rules from the start that both parties agree to and will be comfortable with.

A few years ago, I stayed over at several friends' houses frequently on weekends and during school/college holidays. There might have been several of us, just two of us; same sex, different sex; whatever. Nothing scandalous happened, it was just friends staying up all night - talking, watching movies, eating, drinking. I probably would have been reluctant to stay over unless I trusted them not to raise an issue of peer pressure - and chances are, most teens will be able to extract themselves from situations where they might be cajoled or nudged into something they didn't want.

In this day and age, as a parent you may instantly fear the worst but, the fact is, your teenager will grow up eventually. How well prepared they are for adulthood depends on how much you have enabled them to learn the essential lessons from life. If you don't want to let your child have a sleepover somewhere else where you aren't able to supervise, suggest that it can be your teenager who hosts the sleepover under your roof. Bonus points for you as a "fun" parent. For you, it provides the opportunity to know exactly who's there, what's happening and to set some ground rules (just don't be unnecessarily strict).

At the present moment in time your teenager may still be living at home with you but imagine what could happen in a few years time (or less). Their chance to travel away to college and university beckons and life by their own rules is going to be different, whether you have made the choices for them or not. If they have been trusted with their own freedom and responsibility for the past few years, you can rest assured that they will cope just fine on their own where the temptations of the world at large will be far greater than any coed sleepover would have been for them.

Life is similar to a school. It is there to teach us lessons. All we have to do is be willing enough to learn - both from successes and failures. And life's greatest lessons can not be discovered by someone else making the choices for us, we have to establish our own path in life; no matter where it might lead us. So give your teenager a chance today, if you've previously refused the idea of a coed sleepover, let them make the choice this time - the gift of your trust could make them think over the outcome and potential consequences of any decision they make alone.

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