by Nilofer Ashraff

Created on: February 15, 2009

Loss can be felt in many different ways. It could be through a break up with a person; it could be through death; it could be due to even practical reasons, like the economy. It also could come through someone whom you never thought would affect you.

Breaking up with a person can be a funny thing. One minute the person is everything to you and the next minute you share nothing anymore. And then you are left feeling loss.

What about the bond between a student and a teacher? What happens when a students leaves the school? Are all bonds extinguished then? This month is the eighth month that I am in the teaching force and I got to know the news that the parent of one of the pupils I teach is dying from lung cancer. My pupil will not be around in school for a month.

When I first got to know the news, I was in a state of shock, mainly because of my pupil. This pupil of mine is a bright boy, who is always keen to learn, playful and loves coming to school everyday. I am at a lost because when he comes back I will not know if he would still be the same person.

How will this seven-year old child take the loss of his parent? How will he deal with the questions from classmates? Why didn't you come to school for a month? Where did you go? What happened? The 'W' questions. How is he going to cope with all these questions? I have to be there for him, to protect him from all these, but how I am going to do that?

Thoughts about his future enter my mind, will he grow up well? Will he constantly miss his parent? Will he still be the happy-go-lucky pupil that I know now or will he build walls around him?

Then I have another student in the same class, who lives mainly with her aunt. Her father called me once and said that he was a single parent and that if there were any issues with her, I should let him know because her mother had already passed on. I didn't think much of this. I just thought it was not easy for her to go through all these. Looking at her, no one will think that she has this loss that she carries within her everyday. Her smile, is so cute even though her constant questions annoy me at times. I love her shiny short hair, and when I touched it and asked her why was it so soft she said, "because I use adult shampoo." Children have a very funny way of talking.

I always wondered how her mother left her, but I never had the heart to ask her or her father. It is not my place to ask, it is not my job to ask. But it became part of my job when two of her classmates started asking

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