by SepiaTones

Created on: February 15, 2009

I like email. It's fast and it's free. That is appealing in a time when most of us are going broke just trying to keep our family in milk and cornflakes. What about the recent prices of filling up your SUV? Free is good!

Also, I really dislike talking on the telephone. Small talk is not my gift, and silence during a telephone conversation makes me crazy. So e-mail is my preferred method for communicating.

In this technology-based information age in which we're living, I think it is clear that the rules of engaging electronically should be covered one more time, for the record.
In any given week I'll get fifty e-mail messages. Forty of those will have been forwarded from someone who felt it was so fabulous that everyone on her contacts list should get a copy.

Most of mine go unopened. This is not computer science. It's a handy little button that says "Delete". On the rare day that I'm actually in the mood, I will open one and read it. Some of them crack me up.

There is one I have received at least six times over the past two years. It's the one with instructions to delete all the sender's answers and put in your own then send it on to Timbuktu or wherever all the rest of your friends are found. It includes about twenty pointed questions designed to help you get to know your friends better.

Seriously, how much can you get to know a friend by learning whether they prefer dark chocolate over milk chocolate, whether their favorite bra is black or red, or how frequently they exfoliate?

Why not include some deeply pertinent questions instead like "have you ever spent time in jail?" or "what was the cause of your most recent bout of road rage?" Now there's some information we can use!

It's important to remember never, ever to presume any personal tone in an email while reading it. This one will get you into trouble every time, particularly if it's from a family member.

One should never hit the send button until she has "slept on it" for at least twenty-four hours. Forty-eight is better. This applies especially if your three-page response was composed in four minutes flat, leaving your keyboard either warm or smoking.

Special Note Regarding This Rule: The results of this action are irreversible! But the good news is you will have a handy electronic diary of the whole encounter to keep for posterity.

I've read that, for the millennial generation, text messaging is the preferred method of communicating. This is why many of them are entirely lacking in social skills. For people my age (somewhere in the middle) text messaging is the method reserved for those people you don't really feel like talking to directly. Keep it short and simple. And it's imperative to remember: don't text and drive.

If you doubt the wisdom of any of the above, please call, no text me.

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