As a Clinical Child Therapist for the last 17 I had more than my share of parents who came to me with their little darlings exasperated because their child had sleep issues or became out of control at bedtime. My first response to the parent to tell me about their bedtime routine. Nine times out of ten the response was: "Ummm"
Children need routines, structure and consistency in every aspect of their lives. It helps them to know what is next and what the expectations and rules of the house are all about.
Bedtime routines are especially important for younger children so they are able to feel safe and secure in their bedrooms and stay there throughout the night.
Before routines are even established it is important to make sure your child's room is his or her safety zone. That it is pleasing and peaceful. If you use time outs for behavior modification, it is best not to use the child's room. You do not want the child to see the room as a "negative" place to be. Set it up together, and make it comfortable and restful.
When setting a specific bedtime and sticking to it. This is not say that sometimes there will be a diversion or special occasion when that will change, but if that is the case, it is still vital that you stick as much as possible to the routine.
The journey to bed should begin as soon as your evening meal is finished. If there is TV time, set the limit. "You can watch TV till ___ " Or " You may watch show (X ) and (Y)." This may also be the time that you child can have a snack, or dessert as you will not want to have that happen after tooth brushing!
When the time arrives to begin the bed, a soothing bath might be in the cards. This offers both last minute play time, getting all squeaky clean, and if you add a little lavender into the bath water, relaxes the child. (Lavender is not necessary, but it is a great way to calm down.) Tooth brushing can occur before or after bath time.
Spending time with your child as s/he crawls under the covers is great way to have that one on one time. Children want their parents undivided attention and taking time to read a book together is a great way to spend time together. It is not recommended that you lay down with the child, if you begin this practice it will be hard to end it. The exception might be down the road if the child has experienced some kind of fear, but to set a limit around it; "just this once." Then stick to that. It is best to sit next to the bed and read a favorite book.
If your child is still awake when the book is done, set the clear limit that now is time to stay and bed and go to sleep. If lights are left on or TV, rest assured this will be a hard habit to break later, but not impossible.
If you employ this or your own type of routine, you will soon all experience a restful night!
Learn more about this author, Christine Sandor.
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