by Sandra Gillhouse

Created on: February 14, 2009   Last Updated: February 18, 2009

You just walked into a party, there are twenty or so standing around a glass in hand maybe in small groups. What to do? Look for a looker. No not someone that is especially good looking but someone that is looking around the room.

There are certain signals that people send out that indicate whether they are interested in meeting other people. A woman might toss her hair, cross her legs, smile, or look coy, a man might smile, give a nod or look around the room. It matters not whether you are looking to meet your intended other or just want to make a friend these are key indicators that let you know a person might be interested in meeting you. Once you spot someone the next step is to be mindful of that first impression.

If this is someone you might want to chat up be sure to let them have the first openers, then ask them questions. People want to talk about themselves. If you appear to be a listener they will leave with the impression that you are a caring interested person. Someone they would like to see again. In fact the more you tune into others the more interesting you seem to them.

If you should discover this person is not someone you want to get to know you can head into the other direction, but be wary not to sabotage potential bystanders whom you would like to know. You can tell early on whether this is a viable situation. What does you gut say? Don't be rude or unkind if you must exit. A subtle excuse me to head to the loo can work and is believable. No matter what don't make up any kind of lie that might be found out. After all you don't yet know who this person knows in this crowd.

Some people feel at ease around anyone. They breeze into the room and settle comfortably no matter where they are, but these are rare birds. If you remember that when you are meeting someone for the first time they too are meeting you for the first time it puts you on level playing fields and take away some of the nerves. Don't over think the first meet let it flow. People put on mask forgetting that those they are looking at wear a similar mask. Take away from the first meeting only those particulars that seem positive. Its too early to judge from a single meeting what a persons character is. And it really is unfair to people when you haven't walked in their shoes. So try to discover something good about everyone you meet. Smile it always spreads good energy around you and warms up even the wariest individual to meet a smiling face.

Relax be yourself and the right individuals will be attracted to that. The more you practice being social it becomes you. Social ineptitude is handicapping. While it is hard to meet new people it is also mentally necessary to a mature life. Never let fear make you avoid a social event. Step into that party and look around now.

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