by EnnisP

Created on: February 13, 2009

Trust. Without it, everything falls apart, especially in a family setting. When it is assumed, our most important relationships are bound to fail and that leaves us feeling desperate.

Children can explore the world safely only if home remains a safe place to which they can run when life storms develop. When home offers trust instead of criticism and rejection, kids are somewhat insulated from the bad elements of the world. Unfortunately, they often resort to the world because home has failed them. When children don't develop a bond of trust with parents, home becomes an emotional prison from which they will do anything to escape.

Trust for children is important because when it is broken they have no other connections to keep them stable. In an effort to meet this need they desperately latch on to whoever and whatever will suffice. When family, the first authority structure in their lives, fails to meet this deepest of human needs all authority figures and institutions become suspect. Legislators, law enforcement and educational institutions are then viewed suspiciously. The very people who can protect them and encourage their development are forsaken. Gangs, cliques, clubs, radicals and all the questionable activities associated with them are the only options a trust-seeking child has.

The truth? We avoid people we don't trust and gravitate to those we do and this natural, almost instinctive, human response is limited by no moral restrictions. People have been known to do anything for and with those with whom they sense a degree of trust. Once a trust is established loyalty is never challenged by right or wrong.

All of that is to say that trust in the family is essential. A well balanced perspective on life and the world around us hinges on the trust parents can establish with their children. When children don't learn to trust mom and dad first, huge problems can occur.

So the question is how can a parent earn the trust of their children? A lot rides on getting this right and there are several important points to consider.

You must earn it. Trust is not like obedience. Children obey us because they have to. Trust, however, must always be earned, even by parents. If your child doesn't trust you it is your fault not theirs. To earn it you will have to change. You might have to apologize.

Be fair. One goal of the parenting effort is to teach children to be trustworthy. When they don't immediately demonstrate this quality parents are disappointed, sometimes angry and

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