by Michael Pitre

Created on: February 13, 2009

Whether you're trying your luck on a dating site or in a chatroom, meeting the right person is often a gamble. Most dating sites focus on the unique aspects of your personality, automatically finding your most suitable matches - well, the most suitable among the site's limited selection, anyway. And what if your most suitable match isn't suitable at all? Then, we might venture into a chatroom, sifting through ridiculous pick-up lines and tasteless commentary like a spaceman searching for signs of life. Just where, exactly, can love be found online?

After many years of online dating experience, I've found that, on the rare occasion that love does bloom, it can happen almost anywhere online. However, in both my personal experiences and those of my friends, chatrooms have been the origin of most long lasting, valuable relationships.

What is it about chatrooms that is so conducive to dating? Chatrooms more closely mimic the natural social environment that we're accustomed to. Unlike dating sites, the pretense for romance isn't always present, making it possible to get to know someone without any implications. Chances are that the allure of mystery survives in the chatroom, whereas dating sites attempt to reveal as much about your personality as possible. Romance, as light and carefree in nature as it is, can easily be crushed beneath the weight of someone's life story.

Because dating sites are competitive by nature, they emphasize the importance of making your profile stand out from others. The pressure to make a great impression often results in an awkward personal advertisement, failing to capture one's real essence. In a chatroom, there is no inherent pressure or expectation. The impression that we get from another in the midst of a relaxed conversation is bound to be a more candid and realistic one. In turn, we're able to be ourselves as well, and a genuine connection can develop.

On the flip side, not everyone has free time to invest in online chatting. This is where dating sites become particularly valuable. Those who manage to create a sincere, attractive dating profile benefit from the work the dating site does for them twenty-four hours a day, freeing up time to pursue other personal interests. Allow your dating profile to serve as a gateway into conversation, rather than trying to "close the sale" immediately. This way, you'll benefit from both the work of the dating site and the relaxed nature of external communication.

Wherever you find a spark during your online interactions, remember to date safely and smartly! These suggestions apply for both dating sites and chatrooms: ask for several recent photos, or, if possible, converse via webcam at least once. Meet in well known, public places, and consider taking a friend along on your first few dates. Good luck!

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