by Kayla Griffin

Created on: February 13, 2009   Last Updated: February 17, 2009

Getting a defiant child to do their homework can be a daunting task. It takes time, patience and structure. Children who are defiant will have no problem telling you "no". They test your patience and leave you feeling helpless. Trying to teach someone who does not want to learn can seem impossible. However with enough thought, time and patience you will be able to have your defiant child doing homework with ease.

Recognize the problem

Many defiant children are acting out because of insecurities they feel inside. Children who act out when doing homework are oftentimes insecure with their ability to complete the work correctly. They would rather not appear to be "stupid", so they choose to use defiance to hide their insecurities. They may also be rebelling against a major change in their life such as; moving, divorce, new sibling or a school bully.

Children have a hard time expressing the emotions they feel because their range of emotions are limited. Once we are able to recognize the problem; we are then able to help our child deal with the emotions they are feeling. Helping your child deal with their emotions and insecurities can relieve stress and make homework less of a struggle.

Patience

Keeping your patience is essential in dealing with your defiant child. Oftentimes a defiant child will stop being defiant when they feel that it is not bothering you. These children understand how to push your buttons and pride themselves in their ability to drive you crazy. You need to stand your ground, be patient and use a calm voice.

Losing your patience with your child in counter productive. When your child sees you losing your patience, it will only increase their defiance. They will feel as if they are winning the battle of "the homework". Getting into a screaming match with your child will only prevent the homework from getting done, and leave you frustrated. If you feel that you may be losing your patience try excusing yourself for a few moments. This will allow you to compose yourself and return with your patience intact.

Creativity

Many parents underestimate how creativity can help their defiant child. All children like to have fun and homework is not considered to be fun. We all went to school and I'm sure we can remember how much we hated homework; but we did it because we had to. A defiant child will likely not accept "because you have to" as a reason. Adding a little fun to the homework can have your child more willing to complete it.

If math is the subject consider

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